Am I asexual?
To start off, I am turning 17 soon this year and I'm a male. I've done research on asexuality and I'm still a bit confused on it. Since I began masturbating, I've never been aroused by porn, or any genitalia. When this was the case a few years ago I didn't think much of it because I believed it would come as I got older and because I masturbated, it mean't I wasn't asexual. Now I realize this isn't necessarily the case. Since I began until now I have always masturbated to sexual fantasies and fetishes and I have tried masturbating to porn but it does nothing. The thought of even having sex is a turn off for me. Another thing I've always noticed was I can just think of these things in my head and become aroused easily, which I heard is known as cogitaisexual.
However what stops me from believing I'm asexual is these fantasies/fetishes involve others, so I'm getting an arousal from other people (for example, a foot fetish, or being dominated).
Any help is appreciated. Thanks
- HermesLv 75 months ago
You are not asexual as far as I understand the term. If you are aroused by the idea of a particular fetish, then that is part of your sexuality - the sex of the person doing the domination or having the feet, or peeing on you - or whatever, is most likely your orientation as far as gay/straight (if either then bi).You probably find sex a turn off because you fear rejection due to your fetishes or you were taught it is dirty. I think you will find if you have a compatible partner who fulfills your fantasy you will be very aroused and very much enjoy the sex - BUT I also would note that you should watch to make sure you don't reject them afterwards, which would be a method by which many boys handle internalized self-hatred over whatever sexuality they have.
You are a fine and good person, enjoy being one, and don't be afraid of sex.
- Anonymous6 months ago
Asexuality simply means no sexual attraction to other people. Fantasies are not included since fantasies don't always equal what people actually want IRL. So, are you sexually attracted to people or not? You said the thought of having sex is a turn off so to me you sound asexual.
That's aesthetic attraction. Not sexual attraction. I'm aromantic asexual and I can also recognize when a person is hot. I just don't want to do anything about it. I don't want to date those people or have sex with them.