How do i deal with death of my dog i didnt get surgery for?

My 8 year old Yorkie was diagnosed with a spleenic mass on his tumor growing out of control. The vet wanted to do surgery and had an opptomistic view. And most likely wasnt cancer.. Said he could live many more years. He also possibly had cushions disease which could be expensive at least initially. They wanted... show more My 8 year old Yorkie was diagnosed with a spleenic mass on his tumor growing out of control. The vet wanted to do surgery and had an opptomistic view. And most likely wasnt cancer.. Said he could live many more years. He also possibly had cushions disease which could be expensive at least initially. They wanted $3500 for the spleen surgery. . My wife didnt want me to spend that kind of money but i was still my choice. She wasnt against it just has a lesser view of animals and spending any kind of money on them. After weighing the finacial costs and no guarrentees something might go wrong after or during surgery. We decided to spoil him in his remsining days left. I was still on the fence. At the same timw i searched frantically for another place and did research on the subjyect. At the same time at work and were laying peoplle off. I had enough to cover it in saving but maybe a grand or more left for other emergency. Plus i was making more much more at a new job i just started. But i chose to side with my wife who could care less. I knew better **** a week later she wants $1200 earings for mothers day and i buy them. The whole 2 montjs after are a blure. I spoiled him talked and played fetch with him every chance i got during this time. Fed him canned food he loves and unlimited treats. Then the dreaded day came when he stopped eating. Then i put him down and was in the room petting him and told him i loved him as he fell asleep. Thanks for listening
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