How do u avoid "parental alienation," but stop a Dad from repeatedly getting a child excited for visits, but no/showing & crushing them?

The child has a wonderful stepfather who is always supportive. The goal was to have the bio Dad be very involved, but the inconsistency kills the kid's spirit and we don't want that to damage self-esteem. Anyone have suggestions to prevent legal trouble and yet, stop the bio Dad from making... show more The child has a wonderful stepfather who is always supportive. The goal was to have the bio Dad be very involved, but the inconsistency kills the kid's spirit and we don't want that to damage self-esteem. Anyone have suggestions to prevent legal trouble and yet, stop the bio Dad from making promises(describing awesome activities the two will do this Saturday, then not answering, not calling for 3 months....picks up the child for a park play date(never stays overnight), then promises Sunday he'll take the child for a beach day, then disappears for weeks). We dont want the child to think this is the treatment they deserve or that they caused this. How do u explain?
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