Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 6 months ago

How do u avoid "parental alienation," but stop a Dad from repeatedly getting a child excited for visits, but no/showing & crushing them?

The child has a wonderful stepfather who is always supportive. The goal was to have the bio Dad be very involved, but the inconsistency kills the kid's spirit and we don't want that to damage self-esteem. Anyone have suggestions to prevent legal trouble and yet, stop the bio Dad from making promises(describing awesome activities the two will do this Saturday, then not answering, not calling for 3 months....picks up the child for a park play date(never stays overnight), then promises Sunday he'll take the child for a beach day, then disappears for weeks). We dont want the child to think this is the treatment they deserve or that they caused this. How do u explain?

4 Answers

  • 6 months ago

    By being tenacious with bio dad, explaining the damage he causes over and over to him. How much the child loves him and how little he is doing to deserve that love. How promising to make it up to him isn't an option because of the compounded disappointment. Then maybe next time a scheduled visit is made, you don't tell the child in an effort to protect the child's feelings. If bio dad shows, great. But if not, it's business as usual. If you don't the child will just stop having faith Dad anything Dad says is true.

  • martin
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    This dad sounds like he might have some disabling condition such as alcoholism or something that's making him so extreme in breaking promises, not just a week's delay due to some intervening emergency, but disappearing for weeks at a time with no explanation. Family counseling is the answer, whether voluntary or court-ordered. It sounds like a doctor has to get involved also in order to explain this strange behavior.

    • linkus86
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      No, this is actually a far more common problem and because where the custodial parent prioritizes their child, the non-custodial parent tends not to do so. I am not talking about all non-custodial parents, but it isn't uncommon.

  • Kelley
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    You must find out what is troubling the father. Next, assist the father.

  • 6 months ago

    What does your lawyer advise regarding making visitation legal and scheduled?

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