What is wrong with me?? And what can I do?

I’m just a bit worried because this is a something that I noticed turning into a problem about 4 months ago but it’s been happening for as long as I can remember on and off but it’s getting worse and I keep being sent away from work because I’m ‘unwell’. I was sexually assaulted two years ago and I’ve experienced... show more I’m just a bit worried because this is a something that I noticed turning into a problem about 4 months ago but it’s been happening for as long as I can remember on and off but it’s getting worse and I keep being sent away from work because I’m ‘unwell’. I was sexually assaulted two years ago and I’ve experienced depression and eating disorders on and off since but since the beginning of this year everything has magnified and I’ve been sent away from work twice now. Basically what’s happening is I feel like my ‘will to live’ has gone, I dont brush my teeth or hair ever, I don’t shower unless I really have to, I either sleep 2 hours a night or 15, I binge eat and then stop eating for extended periods of time, I have absolutely no energy, I battle with suicidal thoughts throughout the day, no friends, I don’t want to move and I just want to stop life in general. The bit that is scary to me and this is the problem, I’m getting these voices in my head, like my thoughts are battling against other thoughts in my head and the loudest one wins. I have EXTREME mood swings, one second I’ll be suicidal and the next I’ll be bouncing off the walls with motivation and next thing I know I’m crying again. I feel permanently exhausted and it’s getting so bad,I cannot work because my mind wonders and starts debating my emotions and if how I’m feeling is right or not and my boss started noticing my work quality drop and has sent me away.What should I do? my mum blames it on my vegan diet ...
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