helen asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 6 months ago

Both me and my best friend are adults and I wanted to adopt her. Her mom passed away when she was 17 and has practically no family. I mentio?

Both me and my best friend are adults and I wanted to adopt her. Her mom passed away when she was 17 and has practically no family. I mentioned to her once would she love to be part of my family and without hesitation she said yes. I wanted to surprise her for 28th birthday in November with the papers. How Can I go about adopting her in NY( where we live and from)

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  • Angie
    Lv 4
    5 months ago

    She is your best friend, not your daughter. She has a mother. Though her mother tragically passed away, this does not necessarily mean she would appreciate the gesture of someone else trying to fill that role in her life. My father passed away when I was a preteen, and even though I had some very good, strong male role models who stepped up and I loved and appreciated them immensely, that doesn't mean I would have been happy about the idea of them adopting me. On my birth certificate, my father's name is listed. His name will always be the one and only name I will allow to be on my birth certificate. Just because he is gone doesn't mean I am voiding his role and contribution in my life as my father. Your friend may very well feel the same way about her mother. Adopting her (if it's even possible) would mean her mother would no longer be named on her birth certificate. You would be venturing into very touchy territory by suggesting such an odd thing, and it may not go over well. It certainly wouldn't have gone over well with me. While I'm sure your heart is in the right place, you must be reasonable and realistic. Her mother is dead, but she is still her mother. You can still be family without making a legal declaration. If you want to do something touching to show her you think of her as family, why don't you write a personal declaration, telling her from this point forward, the two of you are sisters and family forever. You can both sign it and each keep a copy for sentimental keep sakes.

  • 6 months ago

    forget adoption, just get married

  • 6 months ago

    If you want to do the legal work yourself, read the NY Code sections on adoption yourself and do what they say yourself.

  • 6 months ago

    In most cases, you have to be enough older than the person you are adopting to reasonably be that person's parent.

    We adopted our oldest daughter who became part of our family as a teenager after she became an adult and could consent to her own adoption. I am the same age as her original mom.

    Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.
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  • 6 months ago

    Why would you want to adopt your best friend? By doing so, you are legally removing her ties to her biological family and making her your *daughter.* That is, if the courts would even allow you to do so seeing as you’re (presumably) far too close in age. At 28, there is no reason to change her birth certificate. She is an adult and makes her own choices. You can still be close to her and consider her family without changing a birth certificate.

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