Should I be friends with my ex?
It’s been like 4 months since we’ve broken up and he suggested at the time that we should remain friends but I declined since I knew it’d hurt me and I would find it extremely hard to move on. About a month ago, he posted on twitter saying that “virgos cause me emotional trauma” which clearly was about me. He even blocked me on all of my social media. i’m just confused on whether or not I should text him and ask him if he wants to be friends cause I genuinely do miss the friendship but don’t know if it’s a good idea since he blocked me and says stuff about virgos.
- BrockdeezLv 67 months ago
Saying you are friends and actually acting like friends do are two different things here. I've left many relationships under the idea of remaining friends. Only once has it actually turned out that way. There was just really no reason to continue friendship with the others, which was realized as time went by. The one that has remained an actual friend has stood the test of time.
- Anonymous7 months ago
Wait until you have been completely over him for at least a year.
Two reasons why:
(1) if you are not completely over him when you start to communicate with him again, your old habit of being attached to him will reassert itself and you will be right back in it
(2) Since couples who can make it work DO make it work, you break up means that you two will never succeed as a couple. So if you do get back with him, there will only be the same result .. another painful breakup.
Blocking each other on ALL social media is a good idea. For the first year, at least.
It would appear that he has not let go or moved on. Most people take 4-8 months to get over a breakup, but our brain resists change (including letting go), and if someone is NOT totally over a breakup within a year, they are not likely to figure out how unless they talk with a therapist.
And some people have a "victim mentality" where they SEEK suffering ... mostly because that is what their brain patterns are used to, and the brain always seeks what it knows, even if it is unpleasant.
So perhaps he wants to get back with you because he has a victim mentality. Although I don't know him so I really cannot say.
- SoulKeeperLv 77 months ago
Well your intuition was right but it’s your life. Some people like to take the rocky roads. When you declined to be friends and knew it was over, he waited a bit and is now trying to get a reaction out of you with guilt and blocking. He is manipulating you. If you play his game and allow his manipulating, he will come back to put the nail in the coffin because you are asking others to talk you out of what you already know. Kick him to the curb.
The astrology is irrelevant.
Have a nice day
- Bee V2Lv 67 months ago
Oh no no. It is so extremely rare to be able to truly be friends with an ex, and these do not seem like the right circumstances at all. If 2 exes are good friends afterwards it usually means either the relationship was never that serious, or someone still has feelings. In this case from what you've said it seems like he still has feelings (it kinda seems like you do too) so unless you're willing to accept the possibility of hooking up again or more heart break, to be honest, I'd say don't do it. Only because of all of my past experiences.
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- martinLv 77 months ago
Couples don't break up unless there's a good reason. While it seems polite to remain friends, the reality is that when a new relationship begins for either one of you, the new person in that love relationship isn't going to want to be friends with the ex.
- SnoopyLv 57 months ago
If you love him you can stay friends. I think if someone blocks you then maybe he/she is not very mature, and obviously there's never going to be a mature evolution of the relationship at any point, it will turn destructive.
Like my crush did all sorts of things to me, but I do not even think about it as it makes no sense, I did everything for this person, so my conscience is fine.
I think people who turn even are strange to be honest. Idk, sometimes people make genuinely make mistakes. Hopefully they learn from them. Now gotta go. Bye and don't worry! I'm sure he'll realise his mistake and make it up to you, as well as the Aries user who asked the question i couldn't edit my answer.
- tellitlikeitisLv 77 months ago
No. You need to move on, and he never wanted you to remain friends in the first place. It's what people say when they are ditching you and hope you'll feel less bad about it. Don't add insult to injury. Leave him be and move on.
- 7 months ago
well, its always good to try to save the friend ship. but the way most people work is as soon as you do something that isnt in there best interest they turn and get very bitter and angry. you can be friends but make sure you pay attention to what he is up to. ive seen a lot of people go back to people they "changed" just to find it was all an act to get nudes or something of that nature. be carefull and good luck.
- 7 months ago
Yeah, give being a friend with him another shot. See how it is, if not brake the friendship