Should I be offended that my family thinks I need an SSI check?
I am a 21-year-old male who attends college full-time, and am almost done with college. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and OCD. My mental illnesses are detrimental to my well-being, of course, but I am extremely high-functioning. When I graduate from college, I'll have no problem with holding a full-time job.
The problem is my family thinks I should fake the depth of my disability because I barely make enough to survive. A few months ago, my mother and grandmother persuaded me to go to an SSI screening. Having gotten tired of them begging me, I just followed through with it. My mother accompanied me at the meeting, and I was rejected two weeks later.
That experience was rather traumatizing for me. My mother was pointing out all my incapabilities during that meeting, then later told me she said those things to help me qualify. Every time I tell them I'm depressed or I'm struggling, they try to make me feel bad for "not trying hard enough" to qualify for SSI. I think my family truly thinks I'm disabled (i.e. not capable enough to manage my finances or hold a job), and that is an attack on my self-esteem. I don't believe in scamming the government for more money. I made it abundantly clear to my family that I value the essence of hard work. I am tired of my family doubting me as a person, and every time I point that out, they get defensive and tell me I'm overreacting. I just wish I could disown them.
The problem is my family spares me cash every once and a while. I have a difficult time working more than 25 hours a week as a full-time student. I've also got bills to pay. If I wasn't financially dependent on my family 25% of the time and actually had a vehicle, I would disown them.
- oldprofLv 76 months agoFavorite Answer
That you can and are graduating from college shows to me that you are hardly dysfunctional. So graduate and move out of the house asap; so you'll no longer be mama's boy.
Good for you...not faking anything. It's not only immoral to fake, but faking will eventually catch up with you when the truth is found out.
Remember mom on her birthday and Mom's Day, but get away from her as soon as you can financially. Look after number one, yourself.
- 5 months ago
I'm going to differ from most who answered. Be upset if you mother said things about you that are untrue. But if what she was saying was true part of the time, don't be. When I applied for SSDI it hurt me that I had to be so negative about myself, but I truly do have a hard time, even though over all I am doing OK.
You are at the age where going to school full-time is of tremendous benefit. The sooner you get your education the sooner you can be working in a competitive work field. SSI is there in part because you have a disability that prevents you from working and going to school full-time. If eligible for SSI take it, but promise yourself it will only be while going to college. Graduate and look for a great job. Once hired, report your earnings and SSI will stop.
- Anonymous6 months ago
Wow they sound like scammers! I would just tell them that there’s no way you would qualify. Even a minimum wage job pays more than disability.
- FredLv 76 months ago
I am sure your family were trying to do what they thought was right, but likely underestimate your potential and abilities. People with problems like bipolar and depression can lead good lives, and Winston Churchill was such a man who is an excellent example. He suffered severe bouts of depression but was able to lead Britain and the allied world to beat the Nazi menace of WW2. He himself was the driving force that stopped the Nazis from winning WW2. Most had given up and believed it was inevitable that Germany would win the war so they should surrender, but Winston Churchill gave rousing speeches that convinced people to hang on and fight for freedom. During this time he had severe bouts of depression but the importance of his work kept him going. He called his depression the black dog in his life and he fought it never letting it win.
Likely your problems would get worse if you just sat down on a disability pension and work would help give you a purpose to get up in the morning. I tried to help a young guy years ago with a slight disability who was capable of holding down some jobs and make a decent wage for himself. His mother seemed determined to keep him on a disabled pension and would not accept her son had only a slight disability. In the end she managed to keep him from working and today he is a middle aged man who sits around all day smoking and eating. He has ballooned into a very fat useless man who has no drive or purpose in life because his mother could not see past his slight disability and see the potential he had to lead a good employed life.
If you feel you are capable of holding down a good job then do it, as sitting back on a poor pension is just surviving and you sound better than that.
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- Anonymous6 months ago
You're an adult, make your own decisions. When caught, your family isn't going to prison. You made the right choice.
- SimplytheFACTSLv 76 months ago
if you can work 20 hours and go to school full time, you do not qualify for SSI.....once you are out of school, you should be working 'gainfully' hopefully at a higher wage.
if you can't pay your expenses, you need to work full time and go to school part time.
- SamanthaLv 46 months ago
Sometimes when we are ill we don’t see things as clearly as those around us, are you sure you don’t need SSI?
- Anna ELv 76 months ago
My son in law suffers from Bipolar disorder and has since he was a child. His mother was one to constantly have him on all sorts of medications, to the point that when he turned 18 he just stopped taking all of them. He met my daughter around that time and after a few years of off and on relationships, they got together and are now married and have two kids together. He struggles with work and getting his medications at the right dosage, but it can be done. He can hold a job, although he has changed jobs frequently. You can survive and support yourself without disability. Do you realize that SSI benefits are only about $700 a month and you have to apply for medicaid to get medical care. Not really enough to live on.
- Pearl LLv 76 months ago
i would just tell thern you dont want ssi
- Anonymous6 months ago
No. I think that maybe your family really cares about you and wants to see you get help to succeed. I feel like there's something you're not telling us. Have you had suicide attempts in the past? Could it be possible that your family is worried that you might hurt yourself?
If you have bipolar disorder and OCD you should qualify for SSI. One day you'll need their help because bipolar disorder and OCD can be very debilitating. You should be happy your family even offers to help you because some people don't have family to support them during adulthood. Bratty much?