Why do everyone else's problems effect me so much???
Im 14 and I get super stressed out over other people's problems. My hearts beats super fast. I get short tempered and often have panic attacks. Usually it's with issues involving my friends and family but sometimes it can be random people on the internet. And it doesnt help that a lot of people, especially my mom, vent to me about how miserable she is. Then I end up feeling guilty like it's my fault that I couldnt help her or do anything to make it better. I just get super worked up, probably more than them. It sometimes gets so bad I feel faint and overwhelmed. I know it sounds lame, especially since I'm a boy. I dont really understand it, like I'm super sensitive or something but it's not even like that. I just feel like I care about things more than I should and it especially bothers me when I cant do anything about it.
Please dont be mean.
- Anonymous5 months agoBest Answer
The root cause of all of this is your mom. I'm sure you love her, but this is terrible parenting. I have no idea why she thinks it's appropriate to vent about her problems to her own child, but your question proves why this is so wrong. There's nothing you can do about any of it, it makes you feel guilty, this adds stress and you're a mess. Most moms vent to friends or their spouse.
The solution is someone has to talk to mom and get her to stop with this. Is your dad in the picture? If not, do you think you could sit down with her and explain how this impacts you? That's a tall order, but some people your age might be able to. If not, are there any relatives she's close to that would be willing to talk to her?
She needs to stop burdening you with adult problems. That's the bottom line here.
- Mio LaTaleLv 75 months ago
Kinda sounds like you're paralleling "helping" your mom into a synonymous thing with anyone else. In all honesty this is NOT a bad thing, as this world could do with a few more empathetic types like yourself. But sometimes issues other folks have are things THEY have to work out...and for you the best you can do is steer them in the right direction. Doesn't call for you to shoulder that weight as if it's your own, is what Mio's getting at.
- PearlLv 75 months ago
rnaybe you should pray instead of getting stressed out about it
- PatriciaLv 75 months ago
You really need to realize that other people's problems are not your concern, and the bigger thing is -- our problems usually work themselves out without having to make an effort. So your friends, and others will get through things on their own.
Seems to me you take on things problems and worries when the problems do not belong to you.
And if your Mom is miserable, you can't fix that, either. You can't "help" her. It's up to each of us as individuals to change our own lives and attitudes. No one can fix someone else.