Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 year ago

How should I feel about what my dad did to my daughter?

My daughter graduated from college last and just got married. Both she and her husband have a good job. They very much want to move out of their apartment into a home. The problem is that houses in the area very expensive and are going up in price VERY FAST. They both make good pay but it will be years before they can come up with the down payment. Even if they can come up with the down payment, they fear that home prices then will be more than they can afford with the rapidly rising prices. That may be true.

They talked to my dad about their problem and he told them he had a solution for them. He told them to look at houses they would like to own. When they find one, come and get him and let him look at the house with them. Then he did the TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. He bought the house and then sold it to my daughter and husband for nothing down and he carried the mortgage for the total price of the house. The mortgage had payments they could afford. He then assigned the mortgage to me and told me my inheritance would be reduced by the amount of the mortgage.

I am still trying to decide how I feel about this. How should I feel about collecting a mortgage from my daughter?

I would appreciate any advise anyone can give me. Is it a good or bad thing my dad did?

7 Answers

  • 1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are entitled to FEEL however you want, that's the great thing about feelings - they are never wrong.

    However if you want a rational, down to earth reaction to your Dad's actions then you need to use logic and reason, and not let feelings cloud your judgement.

    What your Dad did was a wonderful thing. He must have a fair amount of money. He used his money to help his Granddaughter in a way that helped them achieve a noble and honorable goal and establish a good financial foundation - but without giving an outright gift which could have caused resentment from other family members or caused them to be ungrateful and abuse the generosity.

    As for assigning the mortgage to you adjusting your inheritance - its Dad's money and he has every right to choose how his assets are transferred to his heirs. Your inheritance will be the same net value, you just get different assets than your siblings - a perfectly fair trade off.

    There is nothing wrong with collecting mortgage payments from your daughter. This entire arrangement is helping them out in a huge way, and it should be an honor to be part of that. Since the mortgage is part of your inheritance I suggest you set the money from those payments aside toward a retirement investment since your eventual inheritance will be reduced by the amount of the mortgage.

    If you really don't like carrying the mortgage you could sell it or work with your daughter and encourage her to refinance into a traditional mortgage with a bank once they've built up enough equity.

    So like I said, you are entitled to have any feelings that come up about this situation, but if you want a rational response, then this was a good thing all the way around and you should not let irrational feelings guide your actions.

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  • 12 months ago

    I cannot even come close to your father..i wish I could..i would do most anything for my family, now your daughter can breathe easy while she figures out how to help her daughter, and that girl can breathe easier providing she does not overdo with the furnishing..i truly admire your father,.finances are always tough for a young couple,,a real strain has been lifted from them....i gave my granddaughters and my daughter each 3,000.00 for daughter and her youngest pooled their money to buy a car for younger daughter who is on her way to ucsb town..she will start in community as her sister has done before making it into university..problem is they cannot find a decent car for 6,000.00..i feel I need to do more..she can't cash in her insurance policy until she turns 21 in 3 years..what do you suggest I do now ??.

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  • 1 year ago

    Seems to work for everyone, why do you care? She gets a house she wants, you have extra income coming in, he gets to be a nice grandpa.

    It wasn't totally unexpected by the way. It was obvious from the second you started telling the story.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Your Dad's money, it's his to do with as he wants.

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  • 1 year ago

    It's a WONDERFUL thing that he did. Enter him for FATHER OF THE YEAR. How could not be thankful and how can you even question it?

    Source(s): Certified paralegal, with 25+ years' experience.
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  • Lolly
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    I think it was a controlling, manipulative thing to do. Has he always been that way?

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  • Lv 7
    1 year ago

    it's his money, and he can do what he wants with it.

    helping people is never wrong...

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