Widows and Widowers: What do you do to happily remember the good times you had with your spouse?

I became 80 years old last Friday. I cried because I would remember my wife bringing the cake and happily showing it to me, she passed away in 2016. However, I realize she doesn’t want me to be upset over her death, she wants me to move on and be who I am.

I have a book of photos of she and I and I couldn’t be anymore happier over the times we had together.

8 Answers

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    That is all we have, are the wonderful memories when our loved one leaves us.

  • 5 months ago

    Wife passed away in 2017. Married 54 years. Look at photos too. Also talk with my children about the good time too.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I am not widowed, my husband is still alive but some years ago he cheated (not just once) and I decided to leave. He's still my husband so he's, obviously, not interested in marrying either of the others but, no, I am not happy about what he did but I am extremely happy now living alone. I have everything I want. I live very modestly with little money (as he gives me NONE) but have never had expensive tastes in clothes, possessions or even food. I make ends meet but couldn't afford an expensive holiday or anything like that.

    What I remember happily is our courtship, engagement, wedding and the early days but after 12 years he was unfaithful but I find it best to not dwell on that too much because my own conscience is clear, all the family know he's the one at fault and people who used to snub me, because they thought I was the adulterer, now they know the truth also. He lives in fantasyland thinking that others don't know what he's done and is still doing. It's truly sad that he thinks no-one knows.

  • 6 months ago

    Happy belated eighty.

    If you have songs, or TV shows you both liked and remember happily, let them be your trigger.

    Or anything really..maybe a place you used to go?

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  • kate
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Be thankful every day of the time you had with your spouse. Some people aren't so blessed. Remember the good times, cry if you want, then know that someday you'll meet up again, be happy about that. I try not to get bogged down with feelings of sadness while remembering the good times.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    What do I do? I just think about it

  • 6 months ago

    I've tried everything to move on....it just takes time.. It took a little over 5 years for me to even start to venture out. As for happily remember the good times. To be honest, I don't, It just opens wounds to me. Part of my healing process is first cry, boo hoo, talk it out, etc, then after I have done enough of that, I don't look at any photos any longer, it helps heal greatly. After 5 or 6 years I may be able to glance at an old photo and think that was nice.

  • Janet
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You need to let go and move on. Even if there isn't much of a future, your Present can be rich, full, vibrant.

    You need to stop living in the past.

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