Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 6 months ago

I was polite and didn't say anything about this; should I have said something in this situation?

I met someone on a dating site and we decided to meet up in person at Chipotle...

he was very overweight but I decided to look past that and give him a chance....

of course on the dating site it says he's an "occasional smoker" yeah right no such thing; he smokes all the time. the first time I laid eyes on him in person he was smoking.

but honestly I think his eating habits may actually be more dangerous than the smoking itself.

he orders the "Triple Cheese Sour Cream"

and then the next thing he says ---- is that he works at Chipotle and this is his daily diet!!!!!!

It was like I was witnessing a heart-attack in the making.

I said nothing. I was polite.

I'm thinking maybe I should have messaged him online and offer some advice,

but on the other hand he (probably) wouldn't have appreciated the advice.

maybe I could have just messaged him "Don't take this the wrong way, but ... your eating habits are literally going to kill you. and Chipotle offers some healthy options. Just don't get sour cream, forget the cheese...."

I don't think he wanted to be lectured but he NEEDED to be lectured.

but surely he must have been AWARE of it --- everyone who smokes knows it's linked to cancer, it's no secret.

everyone who eats like that KNOWS it's bad.

Surely I wouldn't' have been telling him anything he didn't already know--- or are some people really that ignorant?

Should I have said something?

6 Answers

  • ?
    Lv 6
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    He doesn't need to be lectured. If he has a working brain, he already knows about whatever you're going to say.

    If it bothers you, just make sure to politely say that you're not interested. Nobody wants to have to raise a partner. Don't get personally invested in the situation, or waste too much time with it.

    You want to care, but that's what makes you human. Save your caring for someone who deserves it.

    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    None of your business what he eats, or that he smokes, but do not keep seeing him.

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    If you're going to look for dates via on-line dating sites, you need to do two things every differently:

    1. Arrange to meet for a cup of coffee or a drink -- not a date, not a meal. You don't want to stuck with some doink you don't like. If you DO like the person, you can always make a date for another time -- provided he likes you.

    2. Don't even sit down if the person you meet has been seriously dishonest. "That photo you provided must be quite old. That was deceptive. There's no point in ordering coffee. Goodbye."

    This story is hard to believe. Dating sites profiles include photos.

  • 6 months ago

    I think you handled it well. You did give him a base for comparison in getting together for a meal and not bringing his life style up. He knows and even explained it to you or gave excuses.

    I believe you gave him your gift of company for a short time to "break bread". Love your self for being a good person.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    nothing you can do about it, you cant control sorneone's eating habits, rny rnother was like that and i lost her cause of it

  • 6 months ago

    This man is an adult and I am sure he is aware that he is fat and his eating habits are likely the reason. It would serve no purpose to tell him this.

    It's not your job to "fix" this guy. It was a date, not an engagement party.

    • Katie M
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      It means asker probably is not going to marry this guy. No need to "fix" him.

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