Did I make the wrong decision?

It started with a fun, romanticized idea of studying abroad. This idea gave me so much energy and made me envision amazing possibilities. It was very idealized and exciting in my mind. I have many thoughts like this, however almost none of them actually occur. When that happens, I might get a different feeling... show more It started with a fun, romanticized idea of studying abroad. This idea gave me so much energy and made me envision amazing possibilities. It was very idealized and exciting in my mind. I have many thoughts like this, however almost none of them actually occur. When that happens, I might get a different feeling because nothing in the real moment matches up to whatever is created and makes me happy in my mind. Expectations don’t match up with reality. So I wanted to try it and very quickly, without really even thinking about how I feel about the situation, the excitement about my idealized fantasy made me too eager so I, without reading, signed all the papers and paid the money ASAP. And now I’m leaving in three days. The closer to reality I get, aka, the closer the trip becomes, the weirder it feels. Now my feelings are back and asking me if what I did was really right or not. Idk what to do, if I’m really ready, if this is something I really wanted. I already know it probably won’t match up to whatever I created in my mind. I guess that’s why I spend so much time in there.
What should I do? I’m confused as to how I feel, if I want it irl, or if I just wanted it to stay a fun idea in my mind.
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