How do you get past social anxiety and awkwardness?

I think that I have had social anxiety for a long time. I always wanted to fit in and sometimes when I felt rejected or victimised, I would be upset instead or fight back or brush it off. Throughout school, I would often feel anxious for no reason but I think this was social anxiety. When I finished school I... show more I think that I have had social anxiety for a long time. I always wanted to fit in and sometimes when I felt rejected or victimised, I would be upset instead or fight back or brush it off. Throughout school, I would often feel anxious for no reason but I think this was social anxiety. When I finished school I decided to work part time for a few years to work out what I wanted to do. I have never had goals or ambitions other than to be successful but you cant be successful if you dont work your way up. I decided to go to university near my home hoping that I could work and save for a deposit while I studied. I made some good friends there and I was getting good grades. I met a women who lived out of my city during my first year. She quickly became very manipulative and abusive. I ended having to retake my first year despite getting good grades and this really screwed up my confidence. I ended up spending all of my money on our relationship. Eventually she left me because I stopped showing care about our future and was not showing much love. I am still living with parents with no hope of getting out and its just feels like a downward spiral. I am petrified of interviews, people of power and presentations. I dont get nervous like others I literally shake and mumble my words. It makes me so self concious and I mess it all up. I am also very insecure of my height, how I look and how I talk. I feel like I am missing a fundamental trait that everyone else has.
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