I picked up this drunk girl at a bar,
When I was younger, and going to college,
She was stealing beer from behind the bar when the bartender wasn't looking,
I gave her a ride home.
During the ride home,
She tells me that she is a vampire and she likes the taste of blood,
She wasn't joking.
Next thing I know, while I'm driving my car, she jumps on top of me and starts ripping at my neck with her teeth.
It wasn't a turn on, it was painful.
I stop the car and push her back to her seat.
I look in my rear-view
And a cop is there, walking toward my car.
She leans over and tells the cop that her father is chief of police and he is going to get fired if we get in trouble.
Apparently the cop bought it and he let us go
She attacked me again while I was driving,
This time I stopped and I opened my door
And I pushed her out onto the ground,
But she pulled me down with her,
We were rolling around on the ground, she was biting me all over the place the whole time,
I finally got her back to her car,
We pull up to her front driveway
And I open her door, push her out onto her lawn,
And I drive away.