Thesis Statement help?

I am writing an essay on the parental relationships in Richard II, Romeo and Juliet, and Hamlet and am struggling to nail my thesis statement. This is what I have currently: In these three plays it is evident that parental figures contribute to the downfall of their children due to lack of guidance, parental... show more I am writing an essay on the parental relationships in Richard II, Romeo and Juliet, and Hamlet and am struggling to nail my thesis statement. This is what I have currently:

In these three plays it is evident that parental figures contribute to the downfall of their children due to lack of guidance, parental intervention and selfish intent.

Does this sound awkward at all? Is there anything I could change to make it sound smoother. Thank you!
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