I need help?

I need help. I guess first things first, I will have to start from earlier ages of my life. It is unbelievable hard for me to talk about this. Also considering the fact that the thing that bothers me has once again happened, few minutes ago. I am in terrible pain and I am not even sure if writing this will help me... show more I need help. I guess first things first, I will have to start from earlier ages of my life. It is unbelievable hard for me to talk about this. Also considering the fact that the thing that bothers me has once again happened, few minutes ago. I am in terrible pain and I am not even sure if writing this will help me in any human way, also I am not looking for support from people, telling me that "everything will eventually be fine" or stuff along those lines. I have heard that billion times and just living for the chance of MAYBE things will be fine is not what I am searching for. however you will shortly understand that I have tried EVERYTHING that could come to my mind, and none of them worked. Thus this is just another pitiful way of me giving something else a shot.

I am sorry if there will be a lot of inconsistencies and I am sure this will end up being quite long thus thank you if you'll decide to bare with me.
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