Lily asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 6 months ago

My boyfriend of a year was invited to a wedding in another state and I wasn't?

I don't even care about the wedding, but the fact he didn't ask for a plus one / these people probably don't even know about me because we are not on social media. I tell him all the time we can take trips together and I could go for fun and hang out with friends in the city while he is at the wedding.

I even got invited to a wedding in another state and he was invited too, but he refuses to go with me.

Thoughts?

Update:

We never take trips just us and he seems to not want me around his friends lately. (he has been lying about guys night when it is him and his friends and all their gf's)

20 Answers

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  • Z
    Lv 5
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You've already answered your own question. He isn't fully committed to the relationship as you would want him to be. My advice is to let him be, you cannot force him to involve you in his life simply because you are his girlfriend. Even marriages are of various degrees, some have deep connections while some marriages are superficial.

    If this is all he can allow you in the relationship, then it is time to adjust your expectations accordingly. You should accept that he is not yet 100% sure that you're "the one'' and he is leaving his options open in case something better comes along. And that is ok, you cannot blame him for the way he feels. You can only respect it and allow yourself the same privileged. I suggest you do the same thing he is doing. Accept that he may not be the right one for you after all. Have fun with him when he is around, but don't involve him completely in your life, leave room for something better and more fulfilling to come along. Stop introducing him to your friends, and make sure you attend friend and family gatherings alone in case a better match for you shows up. There are no hard feelings here, you are only giving your boyfriend as much as he is giving you in the relationship. so all is fair. You will only feel cheated when you put in more in the relationship than he is willing to put in, or when you idealize your relationship when to him it's just a passing thing. It is important that you stay true to yourself first and foremost.

  • 6 months ago

    6ou need to get rid of that guy. I was with a guy like him and we have children. He never wanted to go anyplace with us. He's not going to change.

  • 6 months ago

    Is he hiding you for some reason?

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    dude... just get over yourself.... they don't know you, you ain't going. not all wedding have a plus one... who's on the list is on the list... end of story.

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  • 6 months ago

    It is rude and very incorrect for anyone to ask for a plus one no matter what the situation.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You don’t see the red flag here? Why wouldn’t he want to travel with his girlfriend? Why wouldn’t he want you around his friends? You shouldn’t have to debate this with him. He should want you with him. He doesn’t.

  • 6 months ago

    It would be very rude and inappropriate for anyone to ask for a plus one. The real issue here isn't he invitation or he not requesting that you be included. The real issuer is that you've come to the realization that your boyfriend doesn't want your relationship to be public or for you to interact with the other people in his life. Those are red flags.

    It is time to confront him about the status of your relationship or simply choose to move on.

  • 6 months ago

    I don't think your question has anything to do with weddings. Your update pretty much defined the issue. It sounds to me like the 2 of you are having a disconnect on a very big problem -- expectations as to where you are as a couple. Obviously, yours are much higher than his, and his reaction is to lie about what he's doing.

    Solution: Talk to him but not a surface level thing. It sounds like this is overdue, meaning you'll have to ask those tough and scary questions. But you really don't have a choice.

  • 6 months ago

    Sounds like he wants some alone time. Either that or he wants to avoid the potential of you being at the wedding and asking him "when are we getting married."

  • Lita
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    You don't ask for a plus one. You don't take a plus one unless it's specifically listed on the invitation. Thoughts? He's not tacky or rude enough to insist upon a plus one and you need to ask him why he doesn't want to go to another wedding with you.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You're not owed an invite.

    Only the hosts of the wedding can extend a plus 1 invite and it's rude to solicit or ask for one.

    You have a bigger issue here than a wedding invite or lack of. It's about the status of your relationship. How he's treating you for me would be unacceptable. What you need to do is open up communication and have a very open talk about the status of your relationship and also the expectations of it. Right now it looks like you're more serious about this relationship than he is. I dated a guy like that longer than I should have. He didn't do much with me in general and if he had plans with me and a friend of his called, he would ditch the plans with me. Eventually I decided I had enough of that and walked away. A month later, I met the guy who I did marry. Had I not saw my worth and walked away, I might not have left the relationship and never met him.

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