Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 6 months ago

Should I tell him?!?

Many years ago I was assaulted / raped by my sisters ex boyfriend. I blamed my self at the time, and apologized since then to my sister for hurting her and her relationship before I grasped that I was sexually assaulted by her ex. My sister doesn’t blame me, and we’ve since grown closer. But at the time I had this thing with my sisters ex’s friend. He and I were sometimes seeing each other and liked each other. But he found out about what happened between my sister’s ex and his friend, and of course my sister’s ex didn’t tell him the truth, so he believed him. When I asked to meet him in person to explain what happened, he said he ‘didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with me.’ That really hurt me.

Years later now he has a steady gf, and both of us have since moved on. But I still want him to know the truth. Should I tell him?

4 Answers

  • art
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    if you think it will give you some closure then YES tell him, after all you have done nothing wrong - you were the victim

  • 6 months ago

    Yes, tell him. If possible, more clearly than you just explained it to us.

  • Rai
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    No i would say unless he raises the issue just don't mention it. You know the truth, you don't need to explain things to anyone and you don't owe anyone anything. But heck if it also bothers you so much as well just tell him you want to get something off your chest and do but dont expect him to be believe and be prepared that he probably will not and let it be.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Don't lower yourself. Why would he not believe the other guy now? It's his word against yours, nothing can be proven. Besides, he may have used your incident as an excuse to break up your friendship at the time, maybe he really believed you all along, Who knows?

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