Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 months ago

My dad is depressing me and being toxic, what should I do and what are your thoughts?

So, I'm almost 20 years old, living at home because I'm going to school and (for reasons you'll find out) can't afford to leave right now.

My dad has always been extremely controlling, my mom will say yes to something but if he's ever heard of it and said no, both answers change to no, he forces me to give him most if not all of my paychecks I earn because I work for our grandma to help our family out. He takes it. He used to be an architect but decided to quit after finding that Herbalife was his lifes passion. This makes next to nothing in profits and our whole family suffers, but instead of getting another job, he continues to do this and steal money from all of his kids, the youngest is 14. I want to save money but he takes everything I have, I started putting it in the bank so he couldn't, and he calls me selfish and ungrateful.

He's gotten so much worse since I've met my girlfriend. We've been together for almost a year now and in that amount of time, he's become 10x more controlling and demanding. He tells me awful things all the time and it really hurts us and I don't know what to make of it. He says things like, my girlfriend is trying to get pregnant on purpose to extort me, (she's extremely wealthy so it's not like that and she wants to wait to have kids), she's wanting to sell my organs to the black market, that she doesn't really love me, just tons of stuff like that and it really brings me down. Is he being abusive or is it just in my head? Am I overthinking?

3 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    hes being abusive, rnaybe you should rnove out

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  • 9 months ago

    It's abusive, and your father is as toxic and dysfunctional as you think he is. Keep putting money somewhere where he can't get it and plan to move out (perhaps move in with your gf), as soon as you possibly can.

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  • 9 months ago

    I read your entire note and didn't find a single item on why you "couldn't" move out.

    I read a bunch of stuff about why it benefited you to stay- ie. you don't want to be responsible for supporting yourself.


    It sounds like to have made the choice that - dealing with dad, not having to pay rent (or minimal expenses), having a job with grandma instead of an regular employer, being about to stay in school, etc is better than than dealing with the advantages of moving.

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