For each couple, it is different. If you have children, you will most likely have continual contact (which is healthy for the children). The nicer you both are to one another, the better the children will handle relationships in their own life. Divorce is worse than death. In death, there is closure...with divorce, it is an ongoing process of feelings surfacing each time you see your ex-husband. If you have children, you may notice similar traits, looks, etc., that is a constant reminder of the person you married and "what was." The best, most healthy way to approach this, would be to attempt to remain friends. Accept the fact that he will get involved with someone else (and in many cases, the new woman will be jealous of you) for no reason other than the fact that you were a "former" wife. Harboring memories of the "past" will only cause you more reason not to move on, remain hurt, angry, etc. The sooner you realize that "there is life after a divorce," and sometimes a much better life with another person, you will no longer think about your ex-husband. Hindsight (for some strange reason) only brings up "good memories" and it is easy to think fondly of him. Post messages around your house with statements about the "bad" times, or the quirks that may have driven you nuts, or the way you felt when he first left you...bring forth some crummy memories to aid you in realizing your past wasn't always "great" memories (and it isn't "your" fault). If you are miserable, seek counseling and learn what it is that you cannot seem to let go of. You might find that it is not "your ex" that you are mourning...it may be some deep-rooted feeling from something else that took place in your life at an earlier date that is causing you to "long for him" when, in fact, it isn't the person but a factor you are unaware of that is causing you to desire him. You both broke up for a reason; re-examine that and try to seek assistance in moving on. Good luck.
· 4 weeks ago