How to get over my crush who denies my existence?

we go to separated gender school except senior year was a new school for me. He's been around here since kg.we attended seniors dinner. At a glance I saw him, it was like love at first sight. I told my friends. they helped talk to him

*two girls and I about to approach my crush*

girl 1: hey you! what's your name?

crush: *cold tone* *not making eye contact* "Adam"

girl 2: you go to our school yeah?

crush: *still cold tone* "yeah.."

girl 1: ok cool, so here's our friend actually do you mind if you wanna dance with her wld be cool

crush: *hesitant tone* *did not even take a glance at me* "yeah 5 minutes.."

then he disappears and never came back

hours later after the party ended, we met him outside the elevator

my angry friend: you! you promised 5 minutes and you never came back?!

crush: "oh yeah.. sorry" *cold tone*

angry friend: like what the actual heck? that was childish of you, it's like you've never talked to girls before..

crush: *still cold tone* "sorry.."

I felt like I was rejected tho I admit I'm fairly good looking? my friends told me he wasn't worth it anyways. fsr the more I think about it, the more I get intrigued with what he did. he wasn't the type to get easily swayed by girls. I still don't understand why he did that, was he too proud? arrogant perhaps? we've both graduated, I never got the chance to get to know him. were both moving countries. fsr I could not let go of his picture in my mind. He overtook my mind & I could not stop thinking about him

1 Answer

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Every time you find yourself thinking about him, STOP that thought and redirect your attention to something that has nothing to do with him. Even if you have to inwardly sing a song (NOT about unrequited love!), do that.

    Gradually, over 4-8 months, you build a NEW habit - that of NOT thinking about him - and it becomes stronger than your current habit OF thinking about him.

    These things take consistent attention and effort .. and a lot of time. So be patient.

    It helps if you don't have to talk to him.

    It helps if you don't LOOK at him.

    It helps if you pretend he isn't there when he is.

    Because the more you talk or look at him, the more you strengthen your addiction to him, rather than getting over him.

    As for love at first sight, this might help.

    Love at first sight is NOT love. In fact, love doesn't even start to grow until you have been living with someone for a couple of years.

    So it would be very helpful to NOT try to convince your subconscious that it was "love at first sight" by telling yourself that.

    Understand that the stronger and faster we feel the chemistry, the WORSE any relationship with that person would end up being. Why?

    The instant chemistry happens because your subconscious recognizes that person's subconscious signals, and says "There is someone who will bring out what is in my subconscious".

    Unfortunately the things we stuff into our subconscious is the stuff that is too painful to consciously face. So when someone triggers your subconscious content, that means they will end up bringing all your pain to the surface.

    How? Well, if you were neglected as a child and are used to being rejected, you will fall hard for someone who will either ignore you or end up rejected you. Who will give you exactly what your brain is used to.

    Or if you were beaten as a child, you fall for someone who turns out - after a couple of years - to be a wife-beater.

    Never trust "love at first sight".

    Even the first two years of excitement is only a phase, and the majority of the time when that phase dies out, one or both find they are not longer interested in the other.

    The love that is most likely to develop is that which grows very slowly and always mutually.

    Reminding yourself of this, when you find yourself wanting him, CAN help you turn your mind away from dwelling on thinking about him.

    After all, you want to be happy, right? He is NOT the one to help you with that, and you can know that BECAUSE you felt "love" at first sight.

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