Is it offensive or patronising to give someone a self help or educational book on their birthday?
Like a book on how to recycle more or declutter or on being a kind person or more positive. Or maybe a science book to educate them a bit. Or a world fact book on geography. Basically a gift that will be useful to them and encourage them to do something positive (like read) and at the same time educate them.
- 6 months ago
No someone gave me Dying to be Free by Hannah Robinson and it changed my life.
- TinaLv 76 months ago
Give me a book on how to de-clutter and die!
- JohnLv 76 months ago
Your question is patronizing so I'll gather that you are that in general. "To educate them...." not once but twice. How about, "I thought you might find this as interesting as I did"?
- Zac ZLv 76 months ago
It doesn't have to be patronizing but, frankly, the way you describe your motive IS patronizing.
If the person is aware of your motives they very well might be offended.
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- MarliLv 76 months ago
Yes. It is patronizing, if not offensive, unless the person has confided to you, "I have type-2 diabetes." or "Bill and I are going through AA." Even then, a counseling book about their problem is the last thing a person wants for a celebratory gift. Do not give your friend a book that emphasizes your friend's flaws.
A fact book about geography would not interest a person who cares nothing about geography. If you want to give your friend a book, make it a book about something that interests him or her. Take your friend to the bookstore in the mall and let him or her pick out a book that interests him or her. Or give your friend a gift certificate from the bookstore. Or take your friend out for lunch and then a roam through the library. See what she is interested in, and buy her a new book on that subject for Christmas or her next birthday.
Or invite your friend with diabetes or pre-diabetes over, cook a meal together that you know she'd like that is in a cookbook for diabetics, and then present her with the cookbook.
- SW-6Lv 66 months ago
If someone gave you a self help or educational book on your birthday, would you find it offensive or patronising? There's your answer :)
- LudwigLv 66 months ago
No. A relative of mine gave me a book on how to declutter. They really think it is a nice thing to have. It is a craze.
- myfavouritelucyLv 76 months ago
I would say it was very offensive and very patronising!
- SlumlordLv 76 months ago
Its probably fine, Might only be a problem if this was an ongoing issue they talked about and if its wasn't done in good humor.
- Anonymous6 months ago
Yes I think it is unless the person has specifically expressed interest in that book or at least the subject matter in general.
There are many educational books out there. Just because they're educational doesn't mean someone wants a book about how to do advanced calculus or reduce belly fat.
When giving a gift, it's always polite to take into consideration what you think the other person would want - not to make suggestion for how they should change/improve.