if anything was to happen to my mother i fear it would 'do me in'?

ive just had a fallout with my mum and hung up on her on the phone, one of a billion fallouts we have had throughout life....my mum is elderly and lives far from me in a bungalow....we have always been very close as mother and son, right from being a boy, i'm now a male in my early forties...and ive had to cope with severe mental problems throughout my adult life...and the relationship ive had with my mother has been ''bitter sweet''.

i have lived alone in an apartment for 14 years suffering great loneliness as i have never achieved any relationships in my life, never had a female partner ever.....and my mum has been my lifeline and my rock of support...we are incredibly close....i'm close to my father too, but not like my mum....my father has been divourced from my mother for 25 years now and lives far from me too.

the disagreement and fallout me and my mum had tonight was about me being paranoid and not being able to shake off my depressive mood...so i hung up the phone in mid conversation with my mum..& now i feel guilty, and ive lost my mind a bit....because if anything were to happen to my elderly mum, i fear it would kill me literally- drive me over the edge.

my mum takes tablets for a health problem, but she has been doing well on the tablets..my mum has had a hard life with me as her son, & i feel responsible for my mums stress and hardships...i'm now sat here in my flat feeling desperate & suicidal because i put the phone down on my mum who i adore, what do i do?

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Give up on being so "Needy" and selfish.

    Make your own Life.

    It is time to cut the apron strings.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    you could try calling her back and apologizing

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