Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 6 months ago

My boyfriend's brother overstaying welcome?

Long story short my boyfriend's brother pulls surprise visits and just assumes he can sleep on whomevers couch for his 2 week leave. He pathologically lies and uses people. My boyfriend has a new apartment, his brother popped up and cockily shared he was staying at my boyfriends place. I do not officially live or contribute to rent yet, but I also signed the lease and I do stay there quite often, I supply food as well as cook and clean.

His brother has NO respect for our privacy as a couple. I feel uncomfortable because it is a 1 bedroom apartment, I've only met his brother twice.

I refuse to cook or clean up after a houseguest who did not ask for PERMISSION to stay. He stayed over last night and didn't come home until 3 my boyfriend waited up to let him in. This is someone's home, not a revolving hotel door. I cannot handle two weeks of this, especially with work. My boyfriend is also pissed but he falls into the trap of "Well, he's my brother and has no where else to go." I'm not sure if my boyfriend is going to step up and tell him theres a limitation and rules.

What to do!?! My head is going to blow up. It's the fact he assumes and is untrustworthy.

7 Answers

  • 6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's your future bro in law who at the moment is stronger than you. Will it be that way when you and your boyfriend move in together? If you are on the spot when buddy comes to visit, he'll have to kip on the floor and won't get a key to let himself back in if he comes home after 11pm. The two of you should make the house rules and he'll have to abide by them......providing your boyfriend puts up a united front with you.

  • kavana
    Lv 4
    6 months ago

    Just tell your bf that you not coming over if his brother is there.Than watch your bf get rid of his brother asap!!haha

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    why did you co sign a Lease? it makes you also liable for rent and damages. Tell you bf to toss him out. He is not on the lease and should not be living there.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    My head is likewise exploding over your statement that you are on the lease BUT you don't stay there. Odd.

    It appears that if the TWO of you are on the lease, he has the exact same rights to the apartment that you have. So you stay over occasionally, don't live there, but you are cleaning up? It would be less stressful for your bf to simply hire a maid.

    You feel the brother is 100% responsible for your unhappiness? Maybe if you found a bf who had a set of b*lls and would speak up for you - or maybe if you could talk to your bf - or maybe if you were smarter when you signed a lease, this problem would resolve itself.

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  • 6 months ago

    My head has blown up over you telling us that you signed the lease on your boyfriend's new apartment but that you don't live there.

  • 6 months ago

    What you do is if you have another place to live, which it sounds like you do, stay there for as long as the brother is visiting, do not drop by and do not give your boy friend any nookie. That way your boy friend will have to make a choice, his brother or you. And FYI he can go anywhere he wants on leave, he can even stay in the barracks when he is on leave so that claim that he has no where else to go is a lie.

  • 6 months ago

    Tell your boyfriend you won't be staying there,cooking and cleaning while he is there,then it's down to your boyfriend, does he want you to continue to stay,or allow his selfish hopeless brother to continue to stay.

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