When a teen aged girl has an unwanted pregnancy, should she be encouraged to marry the father or is it better to have the baby adopted?
- OcimomLv 75 months ago
IMO teens should opt for adoption - they are not ready to be a parent and take on that much responsibility to raise a child for 18 yrs.
- PegathaLv 76 months ago
There's no hard and fast rule. What's best for one mother and baby might not be best for others. (However, I'm personally opposed to women marrying while they're still legally children themselves.)
Also, those are not the only two options. She could:
- raise the child herself.
- let a relative take custody and raise the child.
- allow the father or a member of the father's family to have custody.
- raise the child herself for now, while being open to marrying the father after she becomes a legal adult.
EDIT TO ADD: Those people who advised you to listen to her wishes are right. If you push her toward a decision she instinctively doesn't want, it may well create long-term emotional problems for her.
- LitaLv 66 months ago
She should be encouraged to do what is best for herself, the other parent and the baby.
- BeckyLv 46 months ago
What does the teen want? It's her body and her life
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- Tri-HarderLv 76 months ago
It is "better" to have her make her own choices.
- Ranchmom1Lv 76 months ago
It entirely depends on the people involved.
Our oldest daughter who became part of our family as a teenager gave birth to her oldest daughter when she was 17. Marriage was not an option as her daughter's father disappeared before their daughter was born. Adoption wasn't considered because she felt capable of parenting. And she has.
My original mom felt unprepared to parent, and chose adoption for me.
Our daughter's older sister got pregnant at age 16, and married the father. 18 years later they are still happily married.Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.
- LizBLv 76 months ago
Marriage due to pregnancy is seldom a good idea, and seldom works out. Whether the girl decides to abort, adopt out, or parent is up to her. She shouldn't be encouraged in any particular direction, only presented her options and supported regardless of what she decides.
- JillLv 76 months ago
She shouldn't be encouraged to make one choice or another. She should be presented with an unbiased set of facts and make her own decision based on her personal circumstances. Real life is rarely as black and white as "marriage or adoption?"
- divot IILv 76 months ago
You are asking for a sweeping generalization with no consideration of the relationship / maturity / incomes of the parents. Does the girl want to pursue any sort of additional education / skills / career? Teenagers in the U.S. are often immature and have little income, no housing of their own, and sometimes no transportation. Young parents with some resources and family support can do ok; or they can eventually feel trapped, break up, perhaps fight with the grandparents over custody, perhaps have their child placed in foster care and eventually have their parental rights terminated and social services facilitate the adoption of the child, anyway, which is all fairly upsetting.
- PippinLv 76 months ago
There is nothing that is 'best' for every pregnant woman.
If by 'pregnant teen' you mean a 19 year old who has been in a long-term, secure relationship with her boyfriend for several years and was considering or planning marriage anyway, getting married a little earlier than planned might be a reasonable choice. (Though if the baby is 'unwanted' rather than just 'unplanned at this moment' not sure how marrying the father would make an 'unwanted' child suddenly desired.)
In most cases, it's not sensible, appropriate or legal.
For those women, abortion, adoption or (for an older teen who has completed her education and is financially stable) raising the baby alone (with child support and involvement from the father) might all be reasonable choices with the 'best' choice for her depending on a dozen or more factors.