Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 6 months ago

MY Husband wants a divorce and his leaving us.?

Please don't be mean. Only people who really can help. My Husband asked me for a divorce and announced that he is leaving. I don't have a Mom (she abandoned me when I was 2) and no sisters to support me and my Father says this is my problem ( dont be surpsrise he was never there for me before-Mom left him too and his Mother when he was young so he hates females) It's sad. Btw I dont do drugs or alcohol either. I am a stayed at home mom; after working all my life, but we had our little one my husband wanted me to stay home and take care of her (she is 3 now) So now that he wants to leave us, I see myself with no money. I dont have a job, no clothes to look for the kind of work I did before (Office Administrator and GraphicDesigner). I use to have a car but it broke down. I need advice from those who have gone through something like this or if they know of a support group? (I dont want to know about Shelters or


vouchers for a hotel room) just any other options and advice please? It puzzels me that most men I know about divorced and start living a single life again with no kids and women are left with the children to figure out what to eat and where to live. I mean if it was just me alone I go and stay anywhere and maybe eat oncea day every two days not like Ill die. But with children I don't only have to deal with getting money but also having to deal with their emotions and hurt feeling because

Update 2:

Dad left, and lets not forget that most kids will blame Moms for letting Dad go. I feel so depress. So please guys, have a big heart and give me your best advice, please dont put me down, Im already hard on my self already/ I feel like a failure. How do I go about starting new off of nothing? New home? A job? Financial assistance? Therapy for children? What do you advise me? The last thing I want is for my daughters to undergo the drastic change.

Update 3:

..but it is obviously not up to me.

13 Answers

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Start with finding a divorce lawyer that is sympathetic to women. If there are any women in your area that are lawyers and handle divorce cases, I would start there.

    Next, unless the house is his, you may be able to stay there. If you are in the United States, you need to go to your local welfare office and find out what assistance programs might be available to you. They will help you qualify for any programs they have and they would have the information for contacting other programs for assistance. This could be money for rent (NOT HOTEL - ACTUAL APARTMENTS OR HOUSING). There are options for low and no income families or single parents that provide places to live and it can be covered by welfare. If the house you are currently in does not qualify for the program, then they may be able to find you something. Next, you would also be able to get help with food and medical expenses too. This is just a starting point. The welfare office may also be able to give you information on where to go to try to find employment - such as any job services offices in your area - and possibly information on low cost child care in case you find a job.

    Also, don't forget, your soon to be ex husband will also be required to pay child support - especially if you get a good lawyer and push for the maximum amount you can get.

  • 6 months ago

    Take him to the cleaners child support and alimony good luck

  • 6 months ago

    you are a lunatic. you claim to have a bf of 8 years who thinks you vagina his too loose to have sex with you and a husband of 3 years and a daughter. get your stories straight. maybe you husband is leaving you bc he found out about the bf you had for eight years, or maybe he just thinks your vagina is too loose like your bf does

  • 6 months ago

    Im not sure where your from but its obvious you have not been living in the united states for 3 years from your English. It would help if you let us know, but I would suggest getting a job. See if you can be an office assistant again.

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  • 6 months ago

    Many churches have day care at reduced rates (and sometimes free) for single working parents who really can't afford private day care. Start calling around.

  • 6 months ago

    Well, obviously you are going to get alimony and child support. Contact a lawyer. But the bigger question, which will come out during the divorce - Why didn't you put out sex for your husband? Just because you's had a child didn't mean he stopped wanting sex, just because you no longer found it useful. You could have kept him happy, but instead decided to be selfish. Make sure to come up with whatever your answer is, so when it comes up at the divorce proceedings, you have a truthful answer ready.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Can only hope you followed the good advice you got and made decisions where you put you and your kids first. Any man who abandons his family and leaves gals like you with this kind of stress is a piece of shiiiitt and hope that you make a point of exposing him so he does not hurt anyone else like he hurt you.

    • john6 months agoReport

      its so absurd ho angry women rush to judge a man before they know wanyhtiung about the situation. If you look at this women profile you will see she has a husband and a boyfriend and her bf won't have sex with her bc he claims her vaghija is too loose.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Here's my concern. He's been your bf and your husband interchangeably. He's ONE OR THE OTHER.

    You have posted about the issues between you for years. He abused you, there was a 3-year restraining order and your concern was how to get that order reversed or cancelled. Ridiculous. What were your thoughts about your child then.

    Sorry to be harsh but you have a history of feeling very, very sorry for yourself.

    Pull yourself together and either file for divorce and ask for support OR file for support and GET A JOB JUST LIKE THE REST OF US SINGLE MOTHERS.

    When you have problems with everyone - husbands, boyfriends, parents, siblings, employers, neighbors - I would start thinking maybe I'm the problem, not everyone else. You've been homeless before with a child (or so you say). You learned nothing from the experience?

    • Coach Simon
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      Quite so! It must have been entirely her fault that her mother left when she was two!!

  • Karen
    Lv 5
    6 months ago

    I agree with your father. This IS your problem. This is certainly not HIS problem. Could he listen and offer help? Of course. Does that mean it’s his problem? No.

    My husband walked out on me with very little notice. I was also a stay-at-home Mom. I am concerned that you were an Office Administrator and sem to have little grasp of punctuation and spelling. This will work against you in the work force.

    What did I do? I retained an attorney and filed for divorce. The grounds? Same as yours - abandonment. Because my husband abandoned me and our child he was ordered to pay spousal support and child support almost from the very beginning. You need to IMMEDIATELY ask for an Order granting - minimally - child support so that your children can eat. If he left, why are you homeless or about to be homeless?

    I see a lot of divorces. You are VERY wrong. “Most kids will blame Moms for letting Dad go” is NOT true. If it is true in your family, then someone should have seen a therapist a very long time ago. I explained to MY child that Dad didn’t leave her. Dad left ME. There’s a difference. I repeated and repeated and repeated that he loved HER. I repeated that sometimes adults can’t live together. I said the same, reassuring things over and over even though I didn’t believe them. My child isn’t scarred; my child doesn’t blame either one of us.

    How to start? You find employment and make day care arrangements. If you qualify for public assistance, file for public assistance. If you need a place to live find employment to pay for the place to live and then locate a place to live.

    You stop looking at the big picture, you stop feeling sorry for yourself, you stop beating yourself up and you sit down and put some practical information together and get moving. Take it day by day, one project at a time. Start with employment and then work your way down the list.

    I’ve been there. It’s not easy. It’s also better than raising children in a marriage that doesn’t work. My parents stayed together “for the sake of the children.” We would have been much happier if they had divorced.

  • 6 months ago

    You don't mention your location, but in most places, the fact that he's "leaving" doesn't mean you end up destituted. He's legally obligated to provide for you and your kid, since you were a stay at home mom.

    • alexander6 months agoReport

      even there its only 50% of income made wile you were married, and that rarely happens bc people with any wealth or income protect themselves. Judges never give out alimony. thats over with

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