Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

Could you have a relationship with a guy that has been with other men?

I've been seeing my current boyfriend for a year 1/2 now, I'm 22 and he's 36. As time goes on I keep finding out stuff about his past and usually I would take a day or two to process the information I've been told(i.e. he was a coke addict, he has a three yr old kid ohio,etc) , but a week ago I found out that he use to not date, but have sex with other men. He claims it was just "fun" and nothing serious, but I'm not sure about that. One of the guys is still a close friend of his. I asked my bestfriend and sister for advice one said to breakup with him and the other said to just talk to him and see if I can work through it. So I'm curious, if you were in my position what would you do?

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  • 6 months ago
    Best Answer

    Hmmm, personally I wouldn't be comfortable, most likely, but I guess it depends on the overall picture. How honest is he overall, how responsible with money and employment, how serious is he about his sobriety, is he a responsible and involved father, how loyal is he to his partner, and how similar are your values?

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I don't believe for a fraction of an instant that this is a genuine question because I find it very hard to believe that there could be anyone out there stupid enough to consider disregarding all of those red flags to persist with forming a relationship with such a person.

    You're 22 years old. This man is 36. 14 years difference isn't a big deal when one person is 36 and the other is 50, but when you're in your early 20s, it's a very big deal.

    This man is supposedly a father. Whether or not he's involved in his child's life doesn't matter. That could change at any point. Why get involved with somebody who has that kind of baggage and responsibility?

    Lastly, there is no such thing as "a man who has experimented with other men." There are only two kinds of men - men who don't have sex with other men and men who do. This man has a history of getting involved with other men. That alone should be a blaring alarm bell to any woman who gets close enough to hear it.

    Find a guy closer to your age who doesn't have any kids and doesn't have any homosexual tendencies.

    • Mimi6 months agoReport

      I didn't find out about the drugs and the child until later on in the relationship. The child quite recently as well when he was acting suspicious when we went on a spring break vacation. I was considering to end it all right there, but unfortunately I didn't.

  • 6 months ago

    why are you running all over the place announcing his sexuality to other people? Really? Maybe he's bisexual, maybe he'd prefer it to be private information.

    My boyfriend is bi, he had sexual experiences with men before. I knew it before he even told me because i can tell he's bi. Meanwhile, it's not my place to go all over town telling other people. And i don't.

    If you want to discuss this stuff, talk with the guy about it.

    I've been seeing the man i've talked about here for eight years. That's what i'd do, and am doing

    • Mimi6 months agoReport

      Plus it's not just him being with men, it's everything I'm learning about his past. The drugs, the child in a different state, the warrant out for his arrest, his ex-wife, etc.. all this is becoming too much and he is technically my first real boyfriend.

  • 6 months ago

    i'd break up with him. i honestly don't care if he'd say he isn't bi or it wasn't serious, because he wouldn't have sex with a guy if he was straight. if you really like him, that's your choice. but i couldn't be with someone who is bi. it's not that i hate bi people, it's that they would always have a need that i couldn't fulfill.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Personally considering all the baggage he has, I would probably end it. You're still young in your 20s, use this time to hangout with your friends and having fun instead of worrying about some sleazy 36 yr old man with a questionable past.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    He sounds like a real imbecile. I'm sure you can do better than this idiot. You seem like a nice person and you don't deserve to be used by some moron.

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