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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 year ago

Can a child with a mental illness change it or just get better at hiding it as they get older?

When I was a child I began hearing voices. Usually saying my name. I use to pinch the dogs. Hit them. Throw them. Lock them in closets & leave them there for hours. I always had trouble keeping friends because I didn’t care about them. I must also insert that I was abused as a child. This may have had something to do with it. I remember telling my Gma that i heard voices & she laughed & said that isn’t good cause that would mean I was crazy. So I quit telling people. I played a game I’d try to will myself out of my own body and put myself inside someone else & I’d play even when I’m walking around with people that I wasn’t really there or I was the person across the room. I did it so often that sometimes I’d lose reality & would really have out of body moments. I always had impulses & I’d have to hold myself back. After my gma told me that, I tried to act normal. I tried to keep relationships & I ignored the voices. It eventually worked. Then when I was 20 I heard the voice. It scared me bad cause I knew I was alone, but I had to search around anyway. Later that night I heard it again. I started having anxiety & then anxiety attacks. I started having out of body experiences again & feeling all the lights looked funny..dimmed.Just dark. I got on anxiety medicine & I’m good now for the most part although I do still suffer from impulse control. But I love animals. Everyday I regret how I treated them. I love animals more than people. So. Am I still crazy? Or better at hiding it?

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
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    First off, having a mental health issue does not make you 'crazy'. As you've just described yourself, that is not a helpful attitude to take, as it encourages people who really do need help to not seek it.

    If you're on medication, I'm presuming you have now seen a psychiatrist about your issues. Are you currently seeing a psychologist, or having any kind of talking therapy? If you're worrying about your past behaviour, whether you're 'crazy', or finding that your impulsivity is interfering with your life, it might be a good idea to see a psychologist. They can't prescribe you medication, as a psychiatrist can, but from what you've said, your issues are not purely due to psychosis, and seeing a psychologist may be very helpful for you in controlling your impulsivity and working through your past issues.

    I won't try to diagnose you with anything, as you haven't provided anywhere near enough information to do so, and it's very difficult to make a diagnosis even in a clinical environment when you have to separate what is caused by psychosis and what is a component of a disorder separate from that. I'm guessing you might already have some kind of diagnosis, if you're on medication. Whether or not your condition is ongoing depends on what the diagnosis is; if it's stress induced psychosis, you may be 'cured', though you'd have to watch for recurring symptoms at stressful times. Are you on meds long term or short term? Either way, you are not 'hiding' it if you're no longer experiencing symptoms. There's most likely some kind of trigger factor, which causes your symptoms to re-occur. Do consider seeing a psychologist, and you might want to speak to your psychiatrist again, too, since you don't seem to have a very good understanding of your condition. I wish you all the best.

    Update: Well, he's a qualified doctor, so I'd like to say he knew what he was doing. In the UK, I'd expect the process to be to first diagnose the cause of the tremors (I presume he concluded this was anxiety), which would give you a diagnosis of anxiety. Anxiety meds may, if the tremors are interfering with your day to day life, be prescribed for the time being. I'd expect you to be referred to a psychiatrist, who would monitor your dosage, as different doses can affect people differently with anxiety medication. I'd also expect you to be referred to a psychologist, who would talk to you about the cause of your anxiety, as it's generally considered best to work towards getting people off long term anxiety medication in the UK (different countries' psych. doctors have different attitudes to this, though, so bear that in mind). The psychologist would then continue to see you after you come off your medication.

    Whether he was correct in his decision depends on however that process would work in your country, but it seems counterproductive to me to conclude somebody has tremors which relate to their stress and to prescribe anxiety meds without making any other attempt to treat the anxiety itself. This aside, whether the anxiety meds are actually helping your mental state or not in the long term is questionable. To your doctor, it probably seems that they're working excellently, because he doesn't know of the other symptoms you've had. It sounds as though you are experiencing anxiety, and your mental symptoms may be partially induced by anxiety, which is why the medication is helping you, but anxiety isn't causing the symptoms you describe when you have an episode. So although your medication is working well for now, it may not work, for example, in a time of extreme stress, when it's possible you may be better off with an anti-psychotic drug.

    Sometimes psychologists alone treat a patient and medication is not used. What's very rare is that medication alone is used, especially in cases like yours where there are other issues involved such as past trauma (like child abuse) and phobias which cause excessive anxiety (eg fear of sleeping, crowds, etc) which can't be solved by purely by medication and often have an effect subconsciously, even if you don't realise it; and you may not on the right medication anyway, so you could consider it that you are not being treated at all. Your symptoms could come back, you don't know what's causing them, and on top of that, you seem concerned about your past.

    Look, it's perfectly understandable to be worried about seeing someone and telling them all those things from your past, how you were abused, how you were cruel to animals, about losing friends and how your mental situation was; but you genuinely don't need to be worried. A psychologist is not going to judge you for anything. If they were judgemental, they wouldn't be very good at their job. You will never be condemned for your actions, or how you feel; it's their job to understand and help you, and nobody will think you're crazy (it's not your fault for thinking how you did about that, either; it's about the worst thing you could say to a young person who confides in you about something as difficult to talk about as their mental state, and whoever said it to you was very thoughtless indeed). If you don't want people to know, they won't, because whatever you say, it's all completely confidential. Please, do see someone; if you're not sure who to contact, your doctor will be able to refer you to a specialist. As scary as it might seem now, you'll very likely feel a lot better afterwards, and you'll be able to move on with your life without concern about your past or whether your symptoms will recur.

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