Why does my spirit feel so heavy?

25 mother of two work a part time job that pays well but the boss hates me for whatever reason and I feel uncomfortable at home I’ve recently lost one job and got laid off another all in the past few months so losing this job would wreck havoc seeing as I literally am carrying thousands of dollars on credit card... show more 25 mother of two work a part time job that pays well but the boss hates me for whatever reason and I feel uncomfortable at home I’ve recently lost one job and got laid off another all in the past few months so losing this job would wreck havoc seeing as I literally am carrying thousands of dollars on credit card balances I cry every night I can never get caught up I’ve got stuck on this alcohol **** so I literally drink everyday I have no life and I just feel like **** like for real most things ppl have I wish I had I am grateful for my own place and my own car but I want more doesn’t help that I am so unhappy with myself I can literally tell I’m making my own boyfriend unhappy because he thinks he can’t please me but it’s not him it’s me!!!! I just wanna die man for real I can’t get right at home at work with my boyfriend can’t put the stupid bottle down like what do I do? I’m laying here crying so depressed worrying about how the next day might go? I’m scared I’m gonna hurt myself and it doesn’t help
I don’t really have support no close friends and no close family
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