My cat passed away 4 days ago, can't sleep, anyone have advice?

My cat was only 5 years old and she was like a child to me. I was at work one day 5 years ago when I found this tiny calico kitten abandoned in a bush. She would of been no more than 5-6 weeks old. She always came running when I called her, she slept with me every night. She was my best friend. She even curled up... show more My cat was only 5 years old and she was like a child to me. I was at work one day 5 years ago when I found this tiny calico kitten abandoned in a bush. She would of been no more than 5-6 weeks old. She always came running when I called her, she slept with me every night. She was my best friend. She even curled up beside me and slept with me when I was sick. She had 2 litters of kittens before I got her spayed. I noticed soon after she got spayed she developed a UTI which I treated and she got over it however about 2 weeks ago she got diarrhea for a couple days it went away, then she began vomitting after she ate but continued to eat and drink for a few days. She then just kept vomitting and stopped eating and drinking and I began to worry badly. I was able to feed her water through a dropper but by night she quit drinking and I knew this was bad. I made a plan to take her to the vet the next day as there is no emergency vet here but sadly it was too late. I put her on my bed beside me hoping it would help her feel I was there. She stayed for a couple minutes then jumped off my bed, went to lay in the bathroom in my room cupboard. I checked on her and she was breathing but sleeping so I went to sleep. Next thing I know I open my eyes to look in the bathroom to see my fiance calling me holding my cat gasping for air then went limp. I grabbed her and began to cry in shock. I can't sleep in my bed so been sleeping on the couch. How can I get past this and sleep in my bed??
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