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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 10 months ago

Should me and my wife move to be closer to our new grand baby?

Me and my wife are going to be new grandparents soon to a baby boy. Our son is in the Air Force at nellis afb could have to deploy soon. We have a big problem with our my mother in law she is very sick and elderly she lived with us for 2/3 years before mostly my wife could not deal with her health issues anymore. I can easily transfer because I am a software engineer and amazon offered me a transfer all I would have to do is sell my home it’s a home value at 950k its in Seattle. Anyways my wife is not really on board with wanting to move because it’s her mom and she is 92. She has been in and out of the hospital for the past 3 months and I really don’t think she lives another 2 years. My wife deals with all her doctors and care. I am not willing to move her because I doubt she lives longer then 2 years. Should I move 1st get the house settled and get ready for the new grand baby and my wife rides it out until mother in law finally dies. I just feel like it’s important to be there for our son and the grand baby instead of a women who is a constant drain and already has 24/7 care

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  • 10 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    First of all, you would be a fool to move to be close to your grand baby because his father is in the military and we all know military personnel move quite frequently. So, you will eventually have sold your home and moved for no good reason because your son's family are not staying put.

    Secondly, your wife and her mother can very well move with you as there are facilities all over the nation for elder care.

    You cannot expect your wife to abandon her mother, so don't ask her to. Move the mother with you.

    Even still, your son will not always be stationed where he currently resides.

    Yes, I do know the restraints one endures while taking care of the elderly. I have done it and know full right well about the challenges. You should respect your wife in how she wants to be with her mother. And, you had better hope beyond hope that one day, when you are old and frail, that your son does not mind you being a constant drain to him and his lifestyle.

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  • Piero
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    There is a good possibility that your son moved away to avoid his "helicopter" mother. He won't appreciate her meddling in the raising of your grand child.

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  • 10 months ago

    Let's just hope that in time that your own son doesn't feel that YOU are a "constant drain" when you need constant care and looking after and that you become someone who he really doesn't want to have to deal with when you are elderly. If it happened it would be in part because you showed him how elderly parents should be treated - abandoned in their time of highest need..

    Karma can be a real b!t@h.

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  • 10 months ago

    did u ask the son's wife first? i bet she does not want u there

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  • 10 months ago

    You see, the reason I don't believe your question is that the use of "Me and my wife are" is pretty much confined to people under the age of 30. Older people mostly know that they would never say that- they'd say "My wife and I". And you're so callous about your mother-in-law.

    • garrett10 months agoReport

      Maybe they are just hip aging boomers

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