=) asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 7 months ago

Guy and I got into a debate about this. What do you guys think?

So just a very quick back story - we are dating, but used to be in a relationship before, until he messed up. Now we're in a "repairing" stage.

We were having a conversation yesterday, and randomly he brought up something he used to do that would tick me off. When we were together, in public while walking, he would randomly grasp the back of my neck with one of his hands and squeeze my neck, almost as if he was softly choking me. I HATED that, and would always tell him to stop doing that because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes he would stop, other times he would do it again, and then try to defend himself (saying things like "oh nooo now you're going to claim I'm harassing you! Way to ruin things")

Anyways, during yesterday's conversation, he kept saying we're "incompatible" on that part because he's a touchy person and "that's the way he likes to express his intimacy". I tell him you're allowed to touch anywhere else, except my neck because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and he says "well, I prefer there". I say it's a form of disrespect to keep doing something I say feels uncomfortable, and he says it's not. Then I say "well what if I like touching your car and when you say don't do that, I say "well it makes me feel good"?" and he goes "well I would straight up break up with you".

So my question is - is this really an "incompatibility" issue, just because he can't touch ONE spot? I also feel really uncomfortable and turned off after this conversation.

6 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    It's only an "incompatibility" issue if it bothers you so much you're willing to break up over it. My partner is far more tactile than I am and while it's annoying at times it's not a deal breaker for me. It may be for you however.

  • RP
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    When it comes to physical contact, it is inappropriate, disrespectful, and wrong for anyone to touch another person's body or person in an area or a way that the other person finds objectionable. That's about the most basic, simplest rule for respecting others and, if someone cannot obey it, then s/he should stay away from the other individual.

  • 7 months ago

    After you repeatedly explained to him that you really disliked being squeezed on the back of your neck, he not only continued to do so, but said you should appreciate it . . .

    Well, if it had been me, I would have left him in the dust, then and there, and when he wanted to get back "in touch" I'd have told him, "Sorry, buddy, it's totally OVER! We are not compatible! Goodbye, and have a nice life."

  • 7 months ago

    As Cartman would solve the problem, kick him in the nuts and **** you I'm going home.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    i wouldnt go out with sorneone rnyself that was doing that

  • 7 months ago

    What do I think? I think the fact that you're still in ANY kind of relationship with this loser f***tard doesn't reflect well on your self-image.

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