Falling in love is not love.
So falling OUT of love is not love either.
Marriage takes stages.
The first is the honeymoon stage, where everything is wonderful and ecstatic and you will love each other forever. That lasts 1-3 years, but it never lasts permanently.
Then comes the conflict stage, which can last up 10-15 years (or shorter, if they break up .. or forever if they get stuck in this phase).
Then comes the alienation stage, where both of you burn out on fighting and you just retreat from each other. No fighting, but no interaction either. This lasts up to Year 20 (or less, if they break up ... or forever if they get stuck in this phase).
Mature companionate love can begin around Year 20. It happens for 12.5% of all couples, and it is a wonderful thing.
What happens is that during the alienation phase you both hopefully star to calm down after the turmoil of the fighting stage.
But you still live each other, still notice each other out of the corner of your eye.
And gradually, you start to remember why you loved this person. And then a miraculous thing happens. You DECIDE that you don't want to fight anymore and you want the person ENOUGH to stop getting upset with their flaws. You just accept them. Which is what love IS. And this is how you make your partner feel loved.
It helps a lot if they reach the same conclusion too.
No matter who we get together with, these are the stages.
I suspect you thought love would cure your inner unhappiness, would make your life vibrant. Honey, happiness is a state of mind and it comes from within us.
Only happy people can make a happy marriage, and if we were not happy before we met our partner, marriage will make us even MORE unhappy.
And the truth is that the more we focus on what we want, the more unhappy we will be.
Are you not loving him anymore?
No, you have NOT YET learned to love him. And that is normal at 10 years of marriage. Your dreams and infatuation and selfish-attachment are not being met, and this is the start of being able to let go of them so you can go on to discover what love IS.
it's not a feeling It is a choice and an action. And the more we learn to give to others, the more inner joy we start to take in acting with love.
Don't ask me why it takes 20 years to learn such a simple truth.