I m not a fan of kids that are not mine...so what now?

I just now told my newly wedded wife that I dont like other peoples kids and she got very upset. She told me that I should because she has a big family with lots of kids and babies. I just cant do it. I wasn t raised to love other people s kids. I love my own but I cant hold someone s elses baby and do googly baby things to him/her and call thier toddlers cute and spoil them. I just cant do it. She s pissed at me and told me I have to try, but I cant change in a week or be fake with these kids....Banging my head on the wall.

10 Answers

Relevance
  • 9 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    It would have been better to have discussed this before the wedding but it’s too late now so the best you can do is compromise.

    You don’t need to pretend to adore other people’s children but you do need to get used to being around them and to interact with them on some level because clearly this is very important to your wife.

    Just spend some time with them and be pleasant towards them, no one can expect you to suddenly love them or to change in a week but you can make an effort here and it doesn’t take much to smile, talk to them and join in the odd game here and there, you may even find you come to enjoy it.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 9 months ago

    Just because you're not fond of other people's kids i don't see why it has to be a big deal and cause world war three in your relationship.

    We don't have to like everything, but we can practice tolerance.

    I'm not really fond of little kids these days either. But i don't go around hating them. I just put up with them when i'm around them and i treat them decently.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 9 months ago

    so? you are not obligated to love anybody else's kids but your own and there is no reason for you to "spoil" other people's children

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Alex
    Lv 4
    9 months ago

    Think about her feelings because you kids might decide to feel the same way and will not be good for their friendships.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Janet
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    You can change.

    Our brain is very plastic (adaptable). And THAT is how mankind survived without speed, horns, sharp teeth, sharp claws, etc.

    Our attitudes and emotions come from our subconscious. And what is in there is what WE have told ourselves.

    So if you keep on saying you "don't like kids", then you are guaranteeing that you will NOT like kids. And putting your marriage at risk.

    Of course you can hold someone else's baby. YOU are the only one stopping yourself from enjoying it.

    Of course if you lack enough self-awareness and inner strength, you might have to talk with a therapist before you can figure out how to master your self.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Rai
    Lv 4
    9 months ago

    I am the same, and i don't think it is a big deal. it not like you said you don't like even your own kids or suddenly told her you don't like kids at all. maybe she worried about that.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • lala
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    Why ? WHY ? You never told her before marrying her ?

    This hypocrite of you

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Ana
    Lv 6
    9 months ago

    Tell her no, and tell her she better not try to cuckold you either

    • Login to reply the answers
  • C
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    Isn't this something to have discovered BEFORE getting married? How about trying to see the younger members of her extended family as individuals as opposed to an undifferentiated hoard of ankle-biters? When I was small my favourites among my parents' friends and family were the "not into kids" kind because they talked to me as a person and didn't pat me on the head and ask if I liked school/barbies.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 9 months ago

    Were you raised to be civil? Try that. You don't need to be fake. But you could likely muster up civil.

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.