I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I can't talk to anyone about it. I don't wanna me another walking stereotype of a depressed millennial?

Some days I'm okay, other days all I wanna do is lay in bed away from everyone. I'm not excited for my future at all. I don't look forward to anything. I thought about suicide but I won't do it for many reasons but I think to myself how nice it would be if I died and didn't have to deal with any... show more Some days I'm okay, other days all I wanna do is lay in bed away from everyone. I'm not excited for my future at all. I don't look forward to anything. I thought about suicide but I won't do it for many reasons but I think to myself how nice it would be if I died and didn't have to deal with any of the people around me.

Other days I'm okay. I get excited I'm at the gym happy to go out etc. that's rare though.

I don't have any energy to help my family with their problems which only makes them think I'm selfish but I really don't. I'm good with pushing people away.

I wanna talk to my doctor but I'm embarrassed. Also they will probably give me antidepressants which I know cause weight gain. If I can another pound, I know I won't be able to live with myself.

Is this what depression is? Or am I being "bratty"?
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