Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 7 months ago

How do I nicely tell someone I don’t want to give them a ride?

A girl that I am not too close to told me how she doesn’t have enough money for a bus pass and she also doesn’t have her drivers license, so I offered to give her a ride if she ever needed one because i felt bad for her walking everyday. I was thinking of it as more of a once in a while thing, whenever she really didn’t want to walk to school or whatever, but now it’s every single morning she texts me. We are going to the same place so it’s not out of my way, but I personally just really enjoy my own personal time in the morning. I’m not sure if that makes me a bad person when it’s not out of my way to take her, i’m just so used to having my own time in the mornings and I don’t know how to tell her no. Keep in mind I’m not friends with this girl... We only took the same bus for a couple weeks where I talked to her maybe three times and I have a feeling she’s just using me in order to get a ride. When I told her I couldn’t drive her for a couple days due to me visiting family for my great grandmas funeral she merely asked when i would be back instead of offering condolences which is a little strange to me. So, how do I get out of this?

7 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Did you learn that you don't want to offer to do things for people because they might believe you? Or do you not want to make friends with her? Just tell her.

  • 7 months ago

    You offered to give her a ride if she ever needed one....

    Make up your mind.

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Help them phase out.

    Day 1: "Are you working on getting your driver's license?" Listen to her story.

    Day 2: "It's actually not so anxiety-inducing to work on getting a license." Tell your story.

    Day 3: "There might be some days I can't drive you. Do you have another way to get there on those days?"

    Day 4: "I need to be there pretty early tomorrow...." Come up with a reason that is real to you, like art project set up, basketball, whatever. "I think you'll need to arrange another ride tomorrow." Most people won't object. If she does, smile and say, "Well, I will be around to pick you up at [early time]. I will wait three minutes, but then I have to go."

    Day 5: "I promised to go in early and help [someone who you decided to help or got asked for help]. You may want to arrange another ride tomorrow." If she objects, tell her "I will be here at [early time]. But I can't wait longer than three minutes."

    So on, so forth.

    OR you could just say on Day 1: "I am not used to driving with other people. As a new driver, it kind of breaks my concentration and increases my chances of an auto accident. Also, sometimes I need to use this time to think about some things and make plans. I think it might work out better for us if you can find an alternate method of transportation for most of the time, and I just give you rides sometimes."

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    How far is it? Does she have any health issues? While tactless to not even offer condolences

    when you had a death in the family, I can understand where she's coming from in not wanting

    to take a bus if a ride going to the same place - is available. Gas money is a reasonable thing

    to request, but make sure it's something that she can afford. It's basically extra money for you.

    On the matter of needing your personal space in the morning, I believe you are going a bit far.

    Don't you have enough personal space (away from her at least) whenever not with this person?

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  • audrey
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    The other user had a great idea. Tell her you need gas money. Make it a relatively high but reasonable sounding amount. Bet she goes away.

  • Wt
    Lv 4
    7 months ago

    she is not even your friend she is just using you... you feeling bad about not "hurting" her feelings.. but she is just using you.

    tell her you bussy or dont answer her text...or your mother have the car..

    i bet she would not do the same for you.. she is just taking advantage of you..

    i dont think you are a bad person..-someome people love to use others too much and ended up making people feel tired..

    -

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Ask her to chip in for gas expenses, she will probably say no and that will end it, if she says yes, keep driving her and take the money.

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