I feel like my old toxic friends/associates won when it came to my relationships with them...is this normal?
This all started in my my first semester of senior year of college when I was 21. I had a toxic friend who I gave money to & she refused to pay me back, While I was an idiot giving her money, what bothered me more was how she cared so much about what her other group of associates/friends bought of me. They would gossip to her about how weird I was (to be fair, it was true), then she would repeat what they said to me.
I felt like she (and all of the toxic friends/associates/bullies) won in a way, simply because I failed at making good friends after that. All the hate, bullying, and friendship rejections I went through influenced me to become a (temporary) mean woman because I was insecure about how guys felt I was ugly and how I wasn't good enough for genuine friends and I was just a joke because of my weirdness.
I don't want to start over by meeting new people because I failed at that. I went to a pole studio & weren't interested in me and two women hated me when I didn't do anything to them. I also tried to go to this international branch devoted to my home country. The people were nice, but they never wanted to interact with me outside the branch so I stopped going. To this day, I am still insecure and I feel like I'm not good enough for real friends which is why I may go back to my old ways of just picking horrible friends without complaining.
- PearlLv 77 months ago
i dont think so, but i wouldnt let thern control your life like that and rnaybe you should rnake new friends