An alcoholic is someone whose life is being messed up with alcohol. If you have no job, are drinking secretly and your man is threatening to leave you, there's probably a problem. If you want to stop then stop. If you find you cannot, look for a classified ad in the newspaper that says "If you want to drink, that's your business, if you want to stop, that's our business" with a phone number. That's a nationwide (really world wide) network of support groups called Alcoholics Anonymous. I've seen it work for a bunch of people, and would likely help you stop drinking if that's what you really want.