Write to him, tell him how much you love him, and how much you hope that he can pull his life together. Also, tell him that you can't keep in contact with him as long as he is being so unkind to himself. Tell him that you will be thinking of him always, but that you need to back off for awhile because it is too painful for you to watch him destroying himself. Then just send him holiday and birthday cards. There is a fine line between supporting and enabling, and perhaps being too accepting is enabling him. It's probable that this isn't going to change him and you just need to save yourself. But be sure to be encouraging, and do keep in touch periodically to let him know you have simply deleted him from your life. .