Couples counseling, as well as individual counseling. Better communication and understanding. Compromise.
If your partner isn't interested in working on the marriage, though, you can't fix it in your own. If you're not willing to leave, then face facts - it'll ALWAYS be like this. So get used to it.
If you ARE willing to leave, then go see a lawyer. Set aside some money your spouse cannot access. Have a backup place to stay in case your safety is in jeopardy. Make photocopies/scans of important paperwork, passports, credit cards, etc. Store your personal valuables someplace safe, like your parents' house or a bank safety deposit box, so the spouse doesn't steal or destroy them (I know people whose exes burned their passports and old family photos in retaliation once they announced they wanted a divorce).
A lawyer can give you tips on what else you need to have ready to go before you tell the spouse you're done. The lawyer can also advise you on whether you'll be penalized in a divorce settlement if you leave the house (of course, if your spouse is violent you need to leave because your life comes first).