First, on your question at the end, when people are dumb enough to use text for this stuff, nobody knows what it means. That's why convos about this should be "real". Open your mouths and talk. I have no idea what she meant, but when you texted her "the truth", this was rather pointless.
On the rest, when you play with fire, you get burned. This isn't to defend him, because he's a lowlife, lying cheater But that's my point. You got yourself involved with a guy like this, and that's "playing with fire". Obviously, he wants to preserve his marriage, in spite of anything he's said to you.
I don't know what else to tell you.