Broke up woth my girlfriend and took her to her parents. Now I feel depressed and I can't seem to get better?

I was the one who decided to break up for her own sake. It's been a tough time for me. A lot of bad memories of my past (childhood and other stuff I never got over) have come up. I thought I was over them but not. Lately I cannot stand happy people. I just hate them all and I wish someone would ruin their... show more I was the one who decided to break up for her own sake. It's been a tough time for me. A lot of bad memories of my past (childhood and other stuff I never got over) have come up. I thought I was over them but not. Lately I cannot stand happy people. I just hate them all and I wish someone would ruin their happiness. I was a child when a lot happened. My dad died at work, my mom was killed during war. I still dont know where she's buried. I had no family (at least they did not take me and sent me to the local orphanage). They sent me to adoption in another country where the main concern of my adoptive dad was changing my relation, changing my name and make my forget my language. I eventually went to the us to start a new life. I met a girl who loves me and tried everything to make me feel loved and accepted. She was the one in my life who understood me. I was her first boyfriend, first love, first everything. She would always say that to me. I dediced to end it for her sake, because I am falling into depression and dont want to ruin her life, she already had her fair share of problems. I noticed I became nervous and got angry really fast, and some days I started to tell her to go away to leave me alone. Once when she wanted to help in the house to dry my clothes I took her arm and told her to go away. Thank god I didn't push her. I am suffering a lot for my condition. I was afraid I would lose it and one day hurt her (physically or emotionally) so I took her home to her parent
Update: House and left her there. She begged me not to, but I did it cause I was afraid that I would hurt her. She called me back lots of times but I just turned off my phone. I've been crying since then. I dont know whats wrong with me, I love her and I miss her like oxygen, I cannot breathe, but she cannot stay with... show more House and left her there. She begged me not to, but I did it cause I was afraid that I would hurt her. She called me back lots of times but I just turned off my phone. I've been crying since then. I dont know whats wrong with me, I love her and I miss her like oxygen, I cannot breathe, but she cannot stay with someone like me. I'm not able to be happy. My own life hurts me. I don't know what to do. If she didn't manage to fix me how will I? I aldp feel guilty for taking her to her parents
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