I can’t do this anymore?

I’m 14 years old a girl I have been going through bad anxiety all my life I have bad sensory disorder it’s hard to do everyday normal things I have depression can’t motivate myself to do anything I’m very behind in school no energy i started a new meditation called Zoloft it’s making me even more tired going... show more I’m 14 years old a girl I have been going through bad anxiety all my life I have bad sensory disorder it’s hard to do everyday normal things I have depression can’t motivate myself to do anything I’m very behind in school no energy i started a new meditation called Zoloft it’s making me even more tired going through occupational therapy and talking to a counselorI started online school about a year ago I don’t like it but I HATE public school I have no social life I think I’m missing out because I don’t go to public high school I’m awkward I lost all of my friends I get to much anxiety in public I’m to afraid to get a job I’ve tried being in relationship but it never works out because I ruin it I’m a slut I feel so empty like I have nothing to live for everyone is having such a great time with their friends while I’m at home doing nothing I sleep pretty much all day I hate my body im ugly I’m too skinny no boy will ever love me i won’t wear what I want to because I’m scared people will make fun of me I can’t be loved I’ve Gained weight but then lost it all because I got sick fro a week I had a very bad panic attack that made me throw up I hate my life I want to end it all no one will care no one checks up on me oh yeah I’m also selfish and can’t stop talking about my ugly *** self I’ve looked up how to kill myself fast and easy without it hurting and one of these days I will do it I’m getting really really bad I don’t know what to do I just keep tearing myself up HELP
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