I am scared of my sexual nature? I'm hiding from life because I am unable to accept myself?
So basically I turned out creepy. Even to this day I cannot express or accept my sexual feelings with others like when talking to peers I often avoid or don't disclose. While I am completely healthy with myself, I don't any deviant interests. But, this has greatly affected my confidence and my social life.
Now after years being socially self isolated and basically ending up alone and no one to communicate to decently like even with therapists they are simply cannot do much they just listen, I'm kind of losing it. I am unable to take jobs because I feel akward and distant mentally from everyone. I cannot even smile, its been years, I haven't laughed in a decade or longer. Haven't had a open heart banter since my granny passed away. I feel the end is near for me. What do I do now?