A kiss is one of the most intimate and sensuous things you can experience with another person. Unfortunately, while there’s no “right” way to kiss, many people experience anxiety about kissing or don’t know how to ask for a kiss. Fear not! Whether you’re getting ready for your first kiss, or you’re an experienced kisser and just want to improve your game for your first kiss with a new partner, you’ve come to the right place.
1. Be prepared. Whether you're a guy or a girl, always have lip balm or lip stick on hand, especially if your lips tend to get dry and chapped. Every time your lips feel dry, put some on. Soft, smooth lips are simply more inviting. Most importantly, nobody wants to kiss someone with a stinky mouth, so carry some breath mints or gum with you, especially if you’re going out on a date. Breath mints are preferable, because you can use them in a pinch and not have to worry about getting rid of them. Also be sure to stay well hydrated: a dry mouth usually will smell worse. Of course, make sure you don’t have anything stuck in your teeth, either.
2. Test the waters. Pay attention to signals that the other person is into you and is ready for a kiss. Does he or she seem comfortable touching you. Do they brush up against you or frequently enter your personal space with playful, innocent touches. Has the subject of kissing or love come up in conversation? If you haven’t noticed any of these signals, but the person does seem “into you,” try discreetly and innocently breaking the touch barrier (guys will generally be very receptive to this, many girls will not) or bringing up kissing when you’re talking. The key is to be subtle and to watch the other person’s reaction.
3. Wait for the right moment. There’s usually no hurry for a kiss, especially a first kiss with someone, so be patient and wait until the mood is right. Some good times are at a romantic movie after or during an onscreen kiss, walking in the moonlight, or during a particularly intimate conversation. Wait until the two of you are alone so that the other person will feel more comfortable and so that nobody will see if your attempt to kiss is rejected.
4. Get permission for the kiss. You don’t always have to ask if you can kiss someone, but you do need to make sure your partner is willing to kiss you. The easiest way, of course, is to ask. Ask “May I kiss you?” or say “I’d like to kiss you,” and lean in right away. Many girls (and guys) want to be asked, but many don’t: they prefer that you be confident enough to take a risk and just go for it. One way to do so is to stop whatever you’re doing and silently look into the person’s eyes for a moment or two. If your partner’s eyes drift down to your lips that’s a pretty good sign that he or she is ready for a kiss—chances are the reaction may be subtler, however. Another good way to get permission is to just lean in and try to kiss the person or gently pull him toward you for a kiss. If the person pulls away at any time, he or she is not ready for a kiss.
5. Approach for the kiss. Approach slowly and smoothly. Depending on your starting position you may need only to turn your head, or you may need to lean in a bit. You may want to use your hands to gently urge your partner’s body or head into position—you just want to guide his or her movement a little, you don’t want to forcibly move any part of his or her body or hold your partner in an uncomfortable position—but in general you just want to position yourself correctly and let your partner meet you. As you near your partner’s lips, maintain eye contact. You may want to close your eyes after your lips meet to heighten the sensuality of the kiss (and to avoid staring at the pores on his or her face).
6. Kiss gently. There are many kinds of kisses, from quick pecks to sweet, passionate kisses. There’s a time and place for all of these, but your first kiss with someone should be gentle and romantic. Don’t press your mouth onto your partner’s--just let your lips meet--and don’t try to push your tongue into his or her mouth. A soft, closed-mouth-to-closed-mouth kiss is perfect. Break the kiss for a moment, keeping your head close to your partner’s, and if your partner moves to kiss you back or seems to like it and doesn’t pull away, go in for another, longer, but still gentle, kiss.
7. Make the kiss the reason for the kiss. A lot of people (mostly men) seem to treat kisses as nothing more than a prelude to something else, and will try to quickly move into French kissing or start putting their hands in inappropriate places. Good kissers concentrate on the kiss, and they kiss, at least seemingly, expecting nothing more. Enjoy the experience, and don’t move too fast.
8. Let your partner participate in the kiss. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read your partner’s body language and pay attention to cues (sighs or moans) that tell you you’re doing something he or she likes. Let your partner kiss you back, and move with him or her as long as you’re comfortable with what he or she is doing.
9. Breathe. If you’re kissing for an extended period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Gasping, however, or turning blue is not romantic. Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. You do not forget how to breathe!
10. Use your hands. While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just dangling at your sides. Embrace your partner, cup his or her face very gently in your hands, or run your hands through his or her hair.
Do you think this guy is a player or has he made an effort to get to know you?
· 3 months ago