Eris asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 year ago

My big sister and I are drifting apart?

I love my big sister so so so much, ever since we were babies we have been extremely close. Right now I am 14 and she's 16, and we started drifting apart recently. Last year, I have acquired a best friend whom I love- we talk and hang out all time, we even have an emotional bond. I consider her as my second sister. I find myself feeling very guilty because I don't pay much attention to my older sister. One time we were having an emotional conversation and she said that she felt forgotten. I was so dissapointed with myself. I was sure no one could replace her, but someone did. Nothing is the same anymore, when I talk to her I just feel like we're close friends NOT SISTERS- I really want things to change. I feel like I don't even know what she likes and doesn't like anymore. I want that special bond we had back, but I don't know how to get it.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    If it helps, you aren't drifting apart. Instead, you're both growing up, and that always means changes. However, you'll always be close to her. It just gets redefined as your lives change and you become adults.

    I know it's easier said than done, but you do NOT want to feel guilty for having a close friend. You sound mature for 14, but I'm not sure you'll understand what I mean here. As you grow and mature, your sister will always occupy a special place, but it's not healthy if she's the only super important person you have. So it's a GOOD thing you have this friend and you'll make many more of them through the years.

    Also, it if matters, it's really impressive for girls your age to have the kind of convo you described where she felt forgotten. I have a sister 18 months younger than me, and as adults, we are still super close. But back when we were your ages, we never had serious adult type convos, and there were some pretty strange things happening with our parents. AS teens, we never once talked about any of it! Seems strange, but it's true.

    The only thing I can suggest is when she says something like that, just reinforce that nobody will ever be as important as your sister. But...don't let this guilt you into spending less time w/ your friend. What will happen if you do that is you'll start resenting your sister. I guarantee this, and you don't want that to happen.

  • 1 year ago

    rnaybe you should rnake tirne to spend with her too

  • Andy C
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Siblings grow apart as they become individuals and not just family members.

    You get her back when you tell her how you feel.

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