Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 1 year ago

My husband and I are renewing our vows, do I have to invite the other half of every couple?

My husband and I have been married 10 years. He’s been undergoing treatment for cancer and the one thing he wants to do before he’s not strong enough is to renew our vows.

We’ve been coming up with our guest list, and we’re inviting my co workers as my team are like extended family. However Spencer, who I am the closest with has married a girl (also one of my co workers) who I can’t stand. They’ve been together nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 4 children - needless to say it all happened extremely fast. The pair aren’t really suited, she’s a rich kid and had everything handed to her while he’s nerdy and extremely awkward. She’s also 9 years younger than him. To make things a little worse, I’ve always had feelings for Spencer, we went on a date years ago but nothing came from it as I thought we’d be better as co-workers but as he’s grown into his 30’s I’ve fallen for him. I really don’t want to invite her and watch them be happy together all day long, it can be hard enough at work.

Do I have to invite her? Do I have to invite the other half of every couple?

21 Answers

  • 1 year ago

    Yes It is very impolite not to invite both parties in an established couple and many might not attend if their better half is not included

  • 1 year ago

    WHAT? Here you are with a potentially dying husband who's wish is to renew his wedding vows with you and all you are concerned with is this guy you have feelings for and whether or not you should invite HIS WIFE to YOUR vow renewal.

    The relationship with your co worker failed and he moved on. You sound like a jealous school girl and a horrible wife.

    This has got to be a troll question. No doubt in my mind.

    Wow, I actually feel sorry for a person who has to create such virtual nonsense. Pathetic.

  • 1 year ago

    This event is a personal matter initially for the personal pleasure of you and your husband. It is not a required legal ceremony, and as so it is arranged by both of you. As such it is entirely your own business as to who your quests are, and there are no rules setting these out. The choice is entirely yours.

    Have a great day.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Yes, a married couple is a social unit and must be invited together. Myself, I wouldn't attend a wedding/vow renewal/anniversary party that my husband wasn't welcome and it's unlikely he would if it was the other way around.

    I for the most part, entirely loathe my brothers wife. I'm still cordial to her and I still invite her with my brother because well not inviting her will create more problems than it will solve.

    In general a vow renewal is a more intimate affair than a wedding is. People generally just invite immediate family and very close friends, not everyone they know and all their co-workers. When my husband and I had our vow renewal at 15 years, we just had our kids, parents and our siblings & their kids.

    Overall, I'm calling BS on your story here. Things turned strange, pretty quickly.

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    1 year ago

    Yes invite them both or none at all since you as a married woman has feelings for him.

  • 1 year ago

    If they're married, you have to invite both of them - they're a social unit

    This applies to all married, engaged, and long-term couples. You can't just avoid inviting half of a couple because you don't like them..

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    These are the very people you're going to need for emotional support if your husband's treatment doesn't go well. You've got more than enough on your plate to be trying to maintain such grudges (and make them so publicly evident). I wouldn't be surprised if "Spencer" refuses to attend the event without his wife. Seriously, get your priorities in line. This is beyond petulant for someone who's sole concern should be caring for an ailing spouse.

  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Yes .

  • 1 year ago

    This started out normal and then took a turn for the very weird.

    You must invite spouses to an event like this.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Fake news, people.

    The troll gotcha.

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