My girlfriend's mom died in 2005 and soon there's gonna be Mother's day and I feel bad for her. What should I tell her?

So my gf's mom died in 2005 of cancer when she was 10. I didn't know her then but I know what it's like to lose a family member. My brother was a Marine died in 2006 in Iraq at 19. When we first met we bonded I believe because we had both lost a family member when we were young and our other friends didn't understand us. Truth is that yes I lost my brother,my parents lost a son. We've got his purple heart but I don't have lost my mom. Mother's day is a day when you're bombarded by all kinds of stuff about mothers and I can't help but feel bad for her on that occasion. Should I tell her something to make her feel better? How should I cheer her up? Should I be extra nice? Please advice.

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  • 6 months ago
    Best Answer

    I'm not trying to sound rude or mean in anyway, but don't bring it up at all, unless she does. There is no reason to. Spend time with your own mother, as it's about her. If your mother only wants something simple or not at all, great. If your girlfriend is feeling lonely and wants you there, this is one of those things that you should really ask your mom about. I know there have been years where my mother wanted all or nothing; all her kids there or none of us there at all.

    And just for context, my husband lost his father 6 years ago. When Father's Day does roll around, we either ignore it or he will get a certain look. I know him well enough to know that's my cue to ask how he is, and some years are harder than others, sure. I will ask if he wants to be left alone, wants to share photos and memories, or call his uncle and just talk.

    • Justin6 months agoReport

      you're right. Plus I didn't consider that my mom lost her eldest son so I think it might be hard on her also

  • DIEGO.
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    good question!

  • 6 months ago

    Just let her know you are aware of her feelings and that you are there for her.

  • 6 months ago

    i would just be extra nice

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  • 6 months ago

    i think the biggest thing you can do is be there for her. visit her moms grave with her. if she grieves, grieve with her (doesn't mean you have to cry).

    you don't fully understand how she feels just as she doesn't understand how you feel losing a brother, but that's okay. just having someone there who tries to understand and comfort you is one of the best things.

  • Vela
    Lv 6
    6 months ago

    tell her that her mom would really hope she is happy and appreciates that she misses her and wants her to not feel bad.

    • Justin6 months agoReport

      I'd prefer not to mention her mom unless she starts talking about her

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