Pregnant ex girlfriend doesn't want me in the child's life. What do I do?
Her mother signed Power Of Attorney forms for medical and financial and threatened that she would do the same to my alleged child. They are telling me that I can't be involved. What do I do?
- Common SenseLv 71 year agoFavorite Answer
You sound young and totally uninformed about what a Power of Attorney actually is.
All Power of Attorney matters have NOTHING to do with parental rights. You are being bamboozled with false information. Really.
You have more rights to that baby than her silly mother does. Any judge will see that.
For now, please stop communicating with the baby mama because all she wants to do is aggravate and threaten you.
If you are that child's father, you have to be smart and think ahead and stay focused and stay in line.
If I were you, I would stop texting back and forth nonsense. Remember, those texts are recoverable and can be used against you in the event you are not being a gentleman. Send an e-mail to the baby mama and keep it short and sweet, without emotion but factual. You want to begin to produce a trail of documentation, showing you are not a bad guy. So, send an e-mail, stating that you are interested in being a part of the baby's life and you intend to support the child and have regular visitations. (Say NOTHING about custody...that is for a later date, if at all.) Tell her that although you understand your relationship is over, you are both still going to be parents and need to cooperate with one another so the child does not suffer. Leave it at that. No mention of lawyers or custody or courts. Right now, your goal is to be reasonable. Okay?
Keep all communication as civil as possible. Now is your chance to lay down a good trail of your intentions because this may get very ugly.
If you drink or do drugs, STOP. She can use this against you in the future. You do not want to give her or her mother reason to have a judge dislike you now or in the next 18 years. So, lead a stable lifestyle, keep your nose clean, do not get arrested and get steady employment. You will soon have a child who needs a role model. When you lead a good lifestyle, good things will follow. Otherwise, you will certainly jeopardize your access to your child or bad behaviors will prevent joint custody in the future. So, be wise because what you do today will certainly effect your choices tomorrow.
Try not to fight with her because that will accomplish NOTHING. Sit back and just wait the pregnancy out. You do have rights, so please don't do anything rash to change your chances of being a part of this child's life. Whether she puts your name on the birth certificate is irrelevant at time of birth because if you are the baby daddy, a judge can order that your name be on that document. Remember, some battles are not worth fighting for because you are already entitled to more than I think you realize.
This Power of Attorney bullshit is just that, bullshit and it means nothing, nothing at all. Really.
- SlickterpLv 71 year ago
Her mother doesn't get to do any of that. Doesn't work that way at all.
You file a paternity case when the child is born.
- StephenWeinsteinLv 71 year ago
If you really feel strongly about this, you go to court and ask a judge to give you joint (or sole) custody.
- `Lv 71 year ago
I'm afraid mommy dearest is trying to freak you out and it seems to be working. A Power of Attorney must be "activated" by two physicians who are declaring the person is incompetent and unable make his or her own decisions. Mommy "signing" Power of Attorney forms mean nothing What should you do? Don't try contacting her. She'll be contacting you once the baby is born and she realizes how much baby supplies cost.
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- KerriLv 41 year ago
You can go to court and sue. You can get a lawyer to help you get visitation rights or joint custody but just know once you do this, you will be supporting this child for 18 years no matter how bad it may get between you and the child’s mother. You might want to consider doing things on your own like starting a savings account or college fund for the child, buying diapers and baby supplies, taking parenting classes, securing a stable job and place to live etc., basically doing things to show your child’s mother that you can be a present and stable father and a positive role model in the child’s life. Once the child is born, things are likely to thaw once your ex realizes how hard and expensive it is to be a single mom and hopefully she will realize kids need both parents if the parents are loving and committed to the child.
- RosalieLv 71 year ago
Look up the county court where she is living, and look up on their website for the forms to file for Paternity, Child Custody, and Child Support. They will likely be there for you to download and fill out.
Until there IS a child, you cannot file in court for those things, but once the baby is born, you can. There may be a legal clinic at the courthouse where they will help you fill out the forms properly, and show you how to file them to get a court appearance in front of a judge.
You will need to go in and give a DNA sample, and pay for the test, and she will be given an order to make the baby available for a sample to test, as well. DNA doesn't lie- if this is your child, no one else can do anything. You should be given the right to access to your child, unless it would be a danger to the baby- if you are a drug dealer or have a violent history, and then you could be allowed visitation under supervision.
Leave her alone for now. If the mother-to-be is a minor, her parent or guardian can prevent you from having contact with her. But once the baby is born, if it is your child, she has no legal right to keep you away if you have custody or visitation.
A Power of Attorney only gives someone the right to sign for someone else, and manage certain things for them. It has zero to do with a third person, and nothing to do with a child that has not been born. Go talk to the county court- once you understand your rights, it will be a lot easier to understand what you can and shouldn't do. They cannot deny you fatherhood, if that's your child.
- YetiLv 71 year ago
Sounds like there's a misunderstanding somewhere about what a Power of Attorney is. It just authorizes someone else to act on one's behalf. For example, you might provide someone a POA so they can handle your finances while you're in the hospital.
You can file for custody and visitation arrangements with the court, though most places require you wait until the child is born to do so.
- Lone CatLv 71 year ago
I suggest you stop. All your doing here is arguing about nothing. There's nothing you can say to her or that she can say to you that will actually matter.
Power of Attorney is something completely different and has absolutely nothing to do with custody of visitation rights. So I don't understand what your talking about.
After the child's born you'll go to court and the judge will decide visitation and child support. If your the father then you'll get some kind of visitation. Even complete scum bags with criminal records still get supervised visitation. And you'll have to pay child support.
But none of what your doing now will change any of that. So my question is..... Why the hell are you arguing with her?
Unless maybe you like arguing with her. I suggest a healthy way might be to ask her out on a date or something.
- 1 year ago
Why do you want advice from yahoo??
- Anonymous1 year ago
You can sue and demand a paternity test if you want to pay 18 years of child support and have to deal with her for the next 18 years.
You may still have to do that anyway if she decides she could use the money.