i want to answer. but i am legitimately concerned. whatever your dealing with. it isnt forever. id highly suggest reaching out to someone. let me tell you about me. i almost went through with it. i had a time set. my life was going nowhere. i was ready to go. 4 hours before i went through with it. my life got turned around. in a matter of 4 hours, all of my issues were resolved or looked like they were going to be resolved. since then, ive been around the world. literally. twice. joined the worlds most respected profession. got out of the military. life is still hard sometimes. but never EVER give up. because if i said screw it that day and painted the walls, i would have never known that life has so much to offer. ive met some of the greatest people, been to exotic lands, helped plenty of people along the way and because of my experience ill never leave anyone feeling low. i firmly believe god was watching over me. if i went into detail, there wouldnt be any other explanation.
but for now, ill just say. dont give up.